Levels of Sick
by wolfdragonful
Summary: Kaldur, Artemis, Wally, and Nightwing start to reveal some of their own musings on hiding things from each other, friends, and family while noticing things about each other that forgot. Warning: Violence, torture, mental instability. Flashbacks/Made up timelines.
1. Wally West

Levels of Sick: Wally West

Wally was sitting in his apartment living room, flipping through the channels when his thoughts had gone straying off as usual. They strayed to Artemis; her smile, her scowl, her amazement at his latest stupidity. He smiled unconsciously at the memory of her soft voice waking him up in the mornings. He'd been waking up later and later now that she was undercover with Kaldur.

Suddenly, he was finding himself wondering how Kaldur was doing too. He'd been deep undercover for over a year now and as Nightwing had said, he'd made impossible decisions. The Kroloteans were just a bit of the iceberg of horror that he'd been enduring since he'd left. With Tula gone, he was also dealing with the fact that he no longer had the woman he loved on the team let alone in his life. He'd left her behind once only to have her return and then leave on him again in a very permanent way.

Love sucked, he had concluded a long time ago. He was no longer sure when exactly he'd decided that. Maybe about the time Artemis informed him about M'Gann and Connor dating. Maybe it was when it was becoming sadly apparent that he'd known since the whole thing with finding the Helmet of Fate that his 'spit-fire' was never going to be the young Martian anyway.

Fate was a bitch.

Nightwing hadn't called him in weeks. That was the reason he was flipping through channels in his free time. Had to be; he wasn't looking for news reports to see if he could help out or not. He was leaving the life damn it. He wasn't worried about saving the world anymore. No way. Nuh-uh. So sir.

Who was he kidding?

He was looking at the phone every five minutes, the old communicator every two. He'd eye his old uniform every so often when he passed by where he was housing it now. He'd check his e-mail for news bulletins about Black Manta and the Team. He'd check another e-mail he'd set up for the secret club he and his three friends had made for this mission. He wanted an update that he knew wasn't going to come in for a while.

He wanted to hear from his friends but knew he'd have to be patient. He could re-enter the Team but he'd still have to be patient for news to come. Plus, it was a bit easier to pretend he didn't – partially – know what was going on if he wasn't around Nightwing and always asking questions.

"…The banquet is said to be a great deal," the reporter was saying with a serious face that looked like she didn't believe a single word she was saying. The banner running under her face said something about a banquet in Gotham, at the Wayne Manor. "In fact, it is believed that the infamous Justice League may send some of its own to safeguard the precious collection that will be featured at Wayne Manor."

She went on to explain that someone from Japan had a huge collection and that, even without Bruce Wayne present due to business, his foster sons and butler would be carrying on the banquet for the fundraising aspect. Children's hospital fundraisers. Naturally, Wayne would get someone from _Japan_ to show off a collection of antiques and whatnot to help sick kids.

_I guess I could always sneak into the banquet and talk to Dick there_, he thought absently. Like he'd do that to a friend. Besides, knowing Dick, he'd have a girl on his arm the entire night – if all went well – and would be busy entertaining her as well as guests. Tim…Tim didn't know anything about it so there was no point in talking to him save for saying hello and asking how he was doing.

_Tiptoe around the subjects you want to touch_, Wally thought bitterly. He'd probably have to wait until the four of them could all get together to talk again and god only knew when that would be. If the Team was going to be there, there was a possibility that Connor and M'Gann would be present. That would mean trouble in and of itself; he wouldn't be able to talk and he wouldn't be able to think of anything other than a chorus of 'lalalalalalala!'

_Damn…_

His phone buzzed on the table then. He glanced at it in slight aversion but picked it up anyway to at least check the caller ID. Flash. Of all fucking people.

"Hey, what's up?" he asked as casually as he could, surprised he managed to fit a bit of grief in there too. Right. It'd been a few weeks since Artemis was proclaimed dead on a mission. Nightwing wasn't one to lie – not with Connor and M'Gann standing over him to provide themselves as distraught witnesses – so who would doubt his words?

Wally was still in mourning.

"You sound horrible," Barry said; worry filling his voice to the brim. Wally wanted to gag. He'd always hated it when the elder man worried over him for stupid things. Sure, he wasn't as fast as Flash but he wasn't nearly as incapable as some made him feel.

"Let's see how great you sound when you lose a loved one," he snapped.

He sounded angrier than he thought was correct for the statement but he'd go with it. Maybe he was the kind of person who worked through his grief by staying angry for a long time. Maybe he was like Kaldur'ahm in that respect? Maybe he should tone it down a bit…no need to make them all think he was going to lose his mind and go evil right?

There was silence on the other end for a moment. Wally could just see the man shifting uncomfortably as he thought through what to say next.

"…I'm sorry Wally," he said with complete sincerity. If he hadn't had sincerity, Wally may have had to sound angrier and threaten to beat some into him. "I truly am sorry about Artemis…"

"Whatever," Wally growled, scrubbing a hand over his face.

He was acting to an invisible audience. Pretending he felt something he didn't.

How did Nightwing always seem so damned cheerful? He saw horrible things every day in that city of his, had to deal with insane men and women bent on killing him and his new family, and he also had a screwed up past. Yet, he always managed to show a smile to his friends when seriousness wasn't needed. Wally couldn't really remember a time when he was really mad at someone; frustrated sure but never fully pissed off. He didn't think anyone other than Batman, Batgirl, and Robin had seen him like that either.

Then again, he had no idea.

Maybe Nightwing compartmentalized better than most people?

Maybe he was so stunted he just didn't really feel those kinds of emotions anymore?

No…that wasn't it. He felt things. He felt for people too. Zatanna was a prime example of him feeling for others. He'd been the one to comfort her, to organize her moving into the Cave, and to be the one whose shoulder she could always have. Nightwing wasn't unfeeling. He probably did all of Batman's feeling too considering how the two were like polar opposites of each other in the early years.

Was Nightwing becoming like Batman?

Dear god; Wally hoped that wasn't the case.

"Look…some of the Team is going to be at Wayne Manor tonight," Barry was saying. Wally could just see the man scratching the back of his neck nervously. "It's supposed to be a simple mission; no action and all that…"

_Yeah…most of the Team's missions are supposed to be like that. Stealth team my ass._

"Would you like a distraction?"

He didn't have to think.

"Yeah…why not?"

* * *

Wally was on the floor.

That was all he knew, his gloved hands slowly coming to his sides to help lever him to his knees. He was going slow, his head spinning and throbbing in a certain spot. Concussion. No question about it. It had to be…he'd had plenty before so he knew that throb's tune by heart.

He glanced around, glass digging into his leggings and his gloves. Hissing, he raised to himself to his feet, head swiveling to find if he was the only one up. No…Connor and Impulse were moving. Impulse…that kid…he shook his head. There was no point in saying he disliked being lapped by the kid who was Flash's own flesh and blood. He should have expected it when Nightwing called.

M'Gann was up, a hand to her head and a groan spilling from her lips. He rushed over to her, kneeling down carefully to avoid the glass and asked if she was alright. Her 'brother' limped over to them as a puppy looking thoroughly kicked as she nodded a shaky affirmative. Beast Boy gave a pathetic whine before turning back to his human form, curling into his sister's body for comfort. He had a few nasty gashes on his leg and arms but none of them looked fatal.

Wally moved on.

Jim Gordon was wrapped around his little girl, her vivid red hair comparable to Batgirl's against his dark brown coat. She was shivering and he was reassuring her as Wally helped them sit up. Connor announced he could hear the sirens then, his blue eyes fixed on the completely busted windows of the living room. Wayne was going to be pissed when he came back; if he came back. Wally did a quick once over on the Commissioner and his daughter before speeding off to check on a few other guests.

Impulse would occasionally say he'd already checked someone but Wally ignored him. A second opinion was going to be given either way. The paramedics would feel differently about some of these injuries than they did. Beast Boy would most likely be treated like a dying patient than an injured kid if he wasn't stared at in horror for having green skin.

Seriously, this whole fear of the League and of aliens or other non-normal people – were there such people? – was getting out of hand. That damned reporter…G. Gordon Godfrey was making a rant everyday about how the League and aliens were pretty much the evils of the universe. He couldn't stand it anymore. He'd fought alongside aliens for over five years in multiple instances. Sure, not all of them had been as close and as personal as when he was on the Team but he still viewed fellow heroes as doing what he was doing.

Besides, Godfrey had no real room to speak. All he was doing as complaining about things that weren't as personal to him as they were to those in the League.

"That's a lot of blood isn't it?" a girl was blubbering. Her upper arm was cut, blood flowing happily and freely. The wound was shallow though.

"Sometimes shallow wounds just bleed a lot," he explained as the sirens finally began to reach his ears. Damned long driveway Wayne had, not counting the miles of mountain road that lead up to the very isolated manor. Wayne really knew how to overdo it when it came to his privacy.

"But…i-it's a lot right?" She was getting hysterical.

"No…it's not," he said as he tied a bit of white table cloth around the injury as tightly as he could. She hissed in pain but gave him a weak but winning smile. He had no time for someone to be flirting with him. Plus, there was the fact he hadn't found Dick yet. Impulse seemed really antsy about something too.

"Impulse," Superboy growled as the boy skidded to a halt next him. He was lifting some wood off other guests when the boy had started to open his mouth. Wally rushed to his side, knowing his moral support was probably not needed. "I'm a bit busy right now."

"I can't find the Wayne boys," Impulse yelped.

"I haven't seen them either," Wally admitted quickly.

He should have known that the kid would quickly say what Wally silently feared he would. If Slow as Hell Wally hadn't seen them, no way Flashy Impulse had simply missed them thanks to his speed. Flash missed some people every so often, Wally always coming up after him like a shadow.

"Well…no that's wrong," Impulse was correcting, his voice panicky. "Tim and Alfred are over there with some of the other guests."

He pointed as he spoke to Tim Drake and Alfred Pennyworth who both looked a little worse for wear. They were calming the other guests down, table cloth bits wrapped around Tim's hand and on his leg, Alfred patching people up like he was in a war zone and the only qualified person.

"But I can't find Dick," Impulse cried, sounding horrified at his failure. It sounded odd to hear him like that. When he'd appeared, he'd been happy go lucky. Now…Wally was hearing Nightwing back when he was Robin after admitting he was in Europe trying to help someone from his past, worried he wouldn't be able to help.

"Of course you haven't," Superboy growled a he shoved the column up to his shoulders with a grunt. His knees looked about ready to give as he slipped his bottom lip between his teeth.

He can't hold it up, Wally realized with horrified eyes.

"Miss Martian!" Superboy yelled. There was panic there. Wally heard it. He knew he did.

M'Gann flinched before looking over her shoulders to see what was wrong, Beast Boy still in her arms. Her eyes glowed and suddenly, Superboy was shoving the pillar away.

Wally's heart was in his throat.

Dick Grayson, Nightwing, his friend was lying on his right side, eyes slipping closed as if he were drifting into sleep. His right leg looked like someone had ripped it into it with claws and then snapped the bone like it was a twig. He looked pale.

The sirens were screaming bloody murder outside the doors, paramedics racing in.

"DICK!" Tim's voice. It was ripping through the noise, through the insanity.

Wally's heart was in his mouth, his dinner closing in behind it.

* * *

"…Everything was stolen? You're serious?"

_That_ was what he was worried about? The collection? Was he fucking serious? A collection of Japanese antiques that were going to be hard to fence or pawn off were what he was worried about? Not the fact that his leg was busted three ways to Sunday or that his little brother was scared about his wellbeing or that half his home was open to the elements?

"Yeah…" Tim was sighing with a shake of his head. He wounded relieved that his 'brother' was worried about a collection rather than his life. Wally had a hard time swallowing it. The hell was wrong with them?

"Shit…Dad's going to kill me."

Wally tried to not react with more than a roll of his eyes as he turned his gaze back to the hospital hallway. People were milling about somewhat aimlessly. It was oddly soothing to know some people could be that oblivious to the outside world because they had something a little more important to worry about.

He spotted Connor then, in full farm regalia.

His jeans were covered in dried mud and grass stains and god only knew what else. His flannel shirt was open to show off a white undershirt all under a jacket that could make any self-respecting cowboy feel inferior what with all the well-earned wear and tear and patching up it'd received over the years. He had a feeling most of the stuff was Clark's though since it all sagged over his shoulders a bit. He could say hand-me-downs though on everything but the shoes which were the ones he wore with his uniform.

Well…those were well broken in too Wally guessed.

_Why the hell is he here in that outfit?_

Connor stopped by the desk, asked something and then was pointed in Wally's direction. Blue eyes caught green framed with yellow before the bigger boy moved towards him. He came close to slamming his shoulder against Wally's, his blue eyes blazing a bit as he passed him.

"Damn…" Connor whistled, falling perfectly into his Smallville persona. Hanging out with Clark more had been good for him; his human identity was less awkward. He could pull for human now, his friends being Clark's friends and Clark knew Bruce which meant he 'knew' the boys. "You look like hell Grayson!" He moved into the room as he spoke, relief beginning to fill his voice.

"Hey Connor!" Dick said happily, brightly. He was waving too.

"Hello Connor," Tim sighed. "Ignore the happiness; he's been drugged for the leg pain."

"One would think," Connor scoffed as he edged to stand next to Tim. "You look pretty bad too buddy. Have you been sleeping?"

Tim shook his head. "Not with him in here…surgery too." A shrug and shaking head. "No…I haven't been sleeping much."

"Well you should try to get some."

"That's what I've been saying!" Dick said with a waving hand and scowl pulling at his features. "Seriously Tim, you and Alfred should get some sleep!"

"Says the guy who's going to be doped to high heaven for a few weeks at the very least," Tim sighed with irritation. "Thanks for coming Connor," he added softly as Dick started muttering that he was mean.

Connor gave a shrug and a smile. Then he glanced at Wally.

"There a reason you two have a guard?" he asked like he didn't have a clue.

Wally was beginning to understand why he'd asked not to be put on watch duty. He was going to be visiting as Connor Kent. Tim hadn't really shared his ID – save for Impulse's blurting and Wally's educated guesses – so Connor wasn't likely to know who he was and Nightwing was still known as Nightwing to the original team so that was out. He wasn't going to risk his own identity with people who probably shouldn't have known who he really was.

It didn't make much sense since he'd been there at the banquet. Been the one to pull up the pillar – with and without help. Besides…Tim and Dick would know who he was regardless. Hooray for Batman's paranoia.

"Something about the way the mansion got robbed and basically blown up," Tim said with a shrug. Again, it was like he didn't have a clue or was trying to prove he was a normal citizen. Connor nodded and gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

"Hey…let me get you some decent food," Connor offered. Dick smiled at the two and urged them to go. Tim left a bit reluctantly but they left to eat anyway, Connor's strength winning out as well as an audible growl from Tim's stomach.

"You know…Connor's right that you look like hell," Wally said softly as soon as the two turned the corner.

"Thanks a shit ton," Dick sighed.

Well! So much for the usually cheerful Nightwing! There was no sound of the slight slurring from earlier either now that Wally though about it. He wasn't as drugged as Tim and Connor and the doctors would like to think apparently. Maybe he was really used to morphine and whatnot due to his job?

"I'm just saying," Wally shrugged trying to sound nonchalant.

"Make sure you show up at the Cave in a few weeks…"

"Why?"

Nightwing gave him a leveling look. Cold, sad blue eyes met confused green and suddenly, Wally felt very small compared to his bedridden friend. Someone who couldn't walk for the next few months was making him feel small. Nightwing had never done that to him. Not ever.

"You haven't expressed your feelings about Artemis yet," Nightwing said levelly.

* * *

A few weeks passed by. Wally worked up the courage to show up at the Zeta entrance in his town knowing full well that he had to make this believable. He couldn't simply just glare at Nightwing, call him an ass, and tell him to go to hell. He had to make it seem like he was still mad, like he'd hoped he'd see him at the galley or whatever it'd been at Wayne Manor.

He had to show festering feelings that didn't exist. Damn. How the hell was he supposed to do that? He paced a bit, his red and yellow uniform making him stand out in the alley. He couldn't stay for forever. He had to make a game plan.

_Think damn it, think_, he screamed in his head. He was weaving his fingers into his hair, the temptation to simply beat at his head. He had a hard time getting through the idea that he had to play at being mad at a death that hadn't happened.

He had to sing something in his head…but he had to be mad too. M'Gann would see right through him if he weren't careful. He had to sell this.

"It just gets more dangerous from here on," he whispered to himself.

_"The hard part's over."_

No…it wasn't. It was just starting. The Zeta tube buzzed through his cells as he stepped through.

The Cave was loud with the assorted teenagers.

Robin and Batgirl were the quietest but they were also the ones keeping the noise lower than it could have been. M'Gann was standing next to her 'brother' as usual, Mal standing next to Bumblebee. Wonder Girl and Superboy were sparing on the platform, no clear winner in sight. The rest of the team was watching, cheering, giving pointers. Batgirl and Robin were keeping the latter to a minimum but were apparently not the ones that have to worry about it since they were sharing their own little tips.

No one heard him be announced; no one but Nightwing who was leaning against a wall heavily. His leg was in a brace. Wally almost faltered right then and there but Nightwing had already put on his mask of unease. He too didn't want to have to do this but it was a little too late.

M'Gann's head tilted to look at him. She smiled sweetly, sympathetically. They'd both lost people on that mission but he had a partial guarantee that his was alive. She had no such thing but she thought his was worse off than hers. He jerked his chin in acknowledgement before carefully moving past the others to Nightwing.

"Didn't see you at Wayne Manor," he said softly, almost casually. There was a slight bitterness there but he wasn't sure where he was pulling it from.

"I had something to do," he said, his voice careful and wary.

"Kind of important?"

"Yes."

"Well…so glad you're so detail oriented," Wally hissed softly. Where was he pulling this from? He was finding himself glad to be able to get this shit off his chest. He didn't even notice Superboy's blue eyes glance over to them.

"What're you saying?" Nightwing asked, sounding unsure, scared.

"All the trouble you go through and you didn't even bother to think what Kaldur'ahm might be willing to do? After the Kroleteans? Did you think he was _above_ killing old teammates because he killed a few aliens?"

His voice was low, soft. M'Gann would never hear him but Superboy would. Hell, if any of the kids standing nearby were bothering to listen, they'd pick up on the hostility itself. Robin had been across the damned room and he'd picked it up, his form slipping towards his big brother. Wally could feel Robin's worry, could sense the suspicion in Superboy's eyes.

The cheering kept going though so he went on with his cues.

Nightwing supplied them perfectly, his tone sounding far too genuine.

"…Wally…I'm sorry," he said, his face filled with grief, anguish, pain. Wally wanted to hug him. He felt a sting in his mind, M'Gann picking up on them or finally starting to step in. "…I did everything…everything I could do to…" His head fell. Robin was moving closer. Superboy called a pause. The cheering turned to groans.

Wally was seeing red. He didn't know why. He just was.

_"We're the only ones who know the secret?"_

_"…Wally…at some point you're going to have to sell the 'unhappy boyfriend left behind' bit; you know that right?"_

_"What could go wrong?"_

"I'm so…so sorry Wally."

He didn't even remember his hand bunching into a fist. He didn't remember pulling it back. He didn't remember the feel of it connecting with Nightwing's jaw. He sure as hell felt Superboy yank him back and pin him to a wall though. He sure as hell heard Robin yelp his brother's uniform name before rushing to his side.

Nightwing was sitting on the floor, his leg not willing to hold him up after the punch, blood trickling from a split lip. Wally felt…satisfied.

"What the hell are you _doing_ KF?" Connor was yelling, bellowing.

Wally saw something flash in his deep blue eyes. Something that screamed for retribution for attacking a friend, a family member. Wally blinked before remembering that in some ways, the Team was Connor's family more than Clark was. Nightwing, Kaldur, and him had taken Connor in. Superman had edged around the whole ordeal, avoiding him like nobody's business.

Kaldur was a traitor now. Artemis was 'dead'. Wally had just hit Nightwing. Connor wasn't going to stand for it.

"Nightwing, you okay?" Robin was asking, helping his brother resituate himself a bit.

Batgirl fluttered over, her cape falling around herself and the boys like a blanket as it came to rest. Wally could see Wonder Girl's look of pure horror and surprise as Bumblebee started letting out angered zaps from her hands. Mal tried to calm her. Beast Boy was huddled next to M'Gann who stared at them like they'd lost their minds.

They probably had.

"Let go of me!" Wally yelled, struggling against Connor futilely. Connor's glare darkened and Wally almost feared for his life. He didn't hear Nightwing grunt as he got up shakily but he did see him place a calm hand on Connor's wrist.

"Let go Connor."

"Are you kidding me?" the clone bellowed. "He just punched you!"

"I had it coming." Not really. "Artemis died on my watch; I promised him I'd look out for her." Not really. They'd planned it all out beforehand. Way beforehand. "I failed, he's pissed, he's venting. Drop him."

"Nightwing," Jaime growled softly. "At least let us rough him up a bit; just a little."

When the hell did he get so violent?

"You're listening to that Scarab aren't you?" Connor said with a sneer. Jaime nodded. "I think I agree with it."

"Drop him!" Nightwing ordered. Unquestionable tone. Robin and Batgirl had flinched. Wally could have sworn Batman had come in to lecture them all. The Bat-glare was on Nightwing's face. The room was silent. Connor let him slip from his fingers.

"Fuckin' nut balls," Wally growled, muttered, mumbled before shooting the hell out of there. What the hell had that been?

* * *

_Drop. Drip. Drop. Drip._

Wally couldn't believe what he'd just heard on the television. He'd been shaving to Godfrey. A bad choice on any normal day. However, he'd been a surprising mood since the act he'd pulled on Nightwing and the Team. He'd been…twitchy. He was looking over his shoulder all the time, thinking Flash or one of the kids would show up to get at him for hitting a friend.

It'd been Impulse who'd been sent to talk to him though. Well…Red Arrow came along too; toting a _baby_ of all things on his back.

_"Who's the kid?" Impulse had asked at near speed. "She's cute!"_

_"Her name's Lian, she's my daughter, don't even think about it," Roy had replied._

_"Think about what exactly?" Bart asked coyly. He gave such an innocent smile too. Wally wanted to strangle them._

_"Why're you two here?" he asked as he finished making his larger than the usual large breakfast. _

_Should he even be acting like nothing was wrong? Should he have been fasting or something? Should he have been doing something else? Come on! He'd just hit his best friend because he'd 'lost' his girlfriend on a mission said friend had asked her come on. Maybe he should be at least showing some sort of grieving process? _

_What were the five stages again? _

_Denial…well, that one didn't really count in this but maybe he already gone through that? Anger…he could check that on off; he'd punched a friend. Bargaining…what was there to bargain? Depression…he had nothing to be depressed about really. Acceptance…She was on a mission for god's sake!_

_"We heard about Nightwing's lip," Roy said as he shifted the baby off his back and into his arms. She giggled a bit, chubby fingers reaching up to him. Wally swore he saw a slight smile on Roy's face._

_"He deserved it," Wally muttered._

_"If we go by that logic, Kaldur'ahm is in the right," Impulse said a bit unhappy and disappointed. Wally damn near threw something at him. He didn't want to feel any smaller than he already did. Nightwing got to do that; not the relative of Flash who made him feel slow either way._

_"Don't compare me to him," Wally had growled. "I'm not Kaldur'ahm."_

_"No…but you have to notice the similarities," Roy said as he rocked his little girl. "He lost a girl he loved; you lost a girl you loved. They both died on missions with the Team. All you're missing is finding unexpected family ties."_

_"I'm. Not. Kaldur."_

_Silence for a moment, the baby breaking it in the most gentle fashion Wally had ever seen._

_"Look, Nightwing copped that he deserved it already so why are you bugging me?"_

_"We're worried," Impulse stated. Yeah right._

_"Well, the Team's worried but most of the people who were there want to smack you into a wall rather than ask what the hell was up your butt in the first place to make you go that far," Roy clarified._

_"I've wanted to yell at him since he told me," Wally said, almost believing himself. "It's been building but I've vented. Maybe I'm about to go through acceptance."_

_The two shared looks before turning away and saying they'd check in again later._

Anyway, Godfrey was still going on about his most recent feelings on the League and aliens and so on and so forth when he'd said something that had caught Wally a little off guard. Something on the Communication Satellite. Something about the investigation that had gone into its explosion. Something about a bomb.

His hand had slipped, skin was sliced.

He didn't notice it though.

"That's _right_ everyone," Godfrey was saying. "A _bomb_ was on the satellite that was supposed to be for _friendly_ communication. Apparently,_ I_ am not the _only_ one concerned about who _my_ country tries to speak to without telling _me _anything! Oh! And let's _not_ forget about the timer on the bomb that would set it off once it got to a certain altitude! So much for the Just-Us League's little Team of junior whatevers! If _they_ can't find a bomb, then what are they being _taught_?"

A bomb? No wonder. Maybe Manta put it there as a test to Kaldur? No…Kaldur would have said something, hinted. Maybe he did? Wally was just too dense to hear?

They had an upcoming meeting. Maybe he could ask?

* * *

"So…you're late," Artemis groused at him. She was perched on a stack of crates, Kaldur standing below her, arms crossed over his chest. She was smiling at him though, like she'd expected it.

"Sorry…I'm the last one here…aren't I?"

"Actually…" she began, her face twisting in embarrassment and worry.

"Nightwing has not come yet," Kaldur said his deep voice soft but firm as always. It was good to hear it again. It was nice to know he still sounded normal.

Though…Nightwing should have been the first one here.

"Not yet?" Wally asked horrified. "You're sure?"

The two nodded as Artemis pulled up a police radio. Wally wanted to ask why she had that of all things but she was already going through it, a crackling sound filling the abandoned boat house in the Blüdhaven docks they were situated in. It was more of a storage facility than anything.

"We're going to listen to the scanner until he shows up?" Wally asked, zipping to his girlfriend's side. They wrapped their arms around each other like it was instinctual. Kaldur nodded.

"Oh…we'll be getting some stuff from Gotham too," Artemis warned. Wally nodded in understanding. They were maybe two and a half miles away from a city limit sign?

It took a few minutes before she caught anything.

"…We have a 10-80 in progress," the scanner chirped. "Repeat, all units, we have a 10-80 heading towards Blüdhaven docks."

"10-80?" Kaldur asked.

"A chase in progress," Wally and Artemis chorused. They blushed. The three listened on, hoping the chase would stay where it was.

"We're delayed," a new voice scratched. "Some sort of blockade. Can't get past it easy."

"This is Commissioner Gordon; I'm en route with my lieutenant Bullock," a familiar voice buzzed. "We're on our way."

There was a yell, from another car, the one calling in. "Fuck! Where'd that cycle come from?"

Cycle? Robin? Batgirl? Nightwing? Could be any of the three; could be a random bystander being an idiot on a motorcycle.

"Back off the bike officer," Gordon commanded. "I repeat, back off the bike."

"Commissioner!"

"BACK OFF THE CYCLE NOW OFFICER!"

"I've…never heard him that ticked off before," Wally mused, his eyes wide. Kaldur and Artemis nodded silently in agreement.

"There's a 10-53 on Slate Road," someone called in.

"Ambulance in route to 1043 South Dixon Street," someone announced. "CSI and Detectives will meet on scene. Possible code 30."

Kaldur looked like he'd lost blood for a moment.

"Possible homicide?" Kaldur asked in slight horror.

"Code 37 at 1043 South Dixon," the person reiterated. "Code 37."

"Aggravated assault," Artemis sighed in slight horror.

"Possible homicide turned aggravated assault," Wally sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. "Sounds like a busy night in Gotham."

"Sounds like a bad night in Gotham," Kaldur said as he straightened. "That pursuit; where is it now?"

Be careful what you wish for.

"Commissioner Gordon here," Gordon called through static. "I see the suspect's car. I see the cycle. We're too close to Blüdhaven city limits. Call their department, tell them of the situation. Damn it…He's going to get himself killed doing that!"

"Bat-kids," a graveled voice snarled.

"Bullock! He's the best we've got right now; _he_ doesn't have to worry about city limits like we do!"

_Not Batgirl then_, Wally thought. _Can't believe they have the speaker on still. Who's chasing whom?_

"Commissioner," Bullock whined softly.

"Enough!" A pause. "Suspect's crossed to point of no return…I have to stop…Nightwing is in pursuit. Did _anyone _call Blüdhaven PD?"

They could hear a rev of two engines. One was smoother than the other but the choking one was closer. Soon the choker stopped completely, someone racing out of it on shaking feet. The cycle slowed a bit before another set of boots scrapped on the gravel. There was a whir, feet hitting wood, a release, a thud and a yelp.

"Take that you lousy son of a bitch!" Nightwing's voice bellowed, sounding proud of himself. Only Nightwing.

"Hey Bud!" Wally called after he raced to his friend's side. "Should you even be in the field?"

"With this leg? No." He smiled at Kaldur and Artemis who'd poked their heads out of the boat house to look at the guy he'd caught. He was struggling against the weighted restraints but that was hardly a big deal; all of them did it.

"What's the story?" Artemis asked.

"Aggravated Assault on a girl; _damn_ near killed her," Nightwing called, limping carefully up to them. He was beaming despite the split in his lip.

"What happened to you?" Kaldur asked worriedly.

"Uh…something fell on me," he said pointing to his leg. "And someone here is a better actor than you two." He pointed at the lip while Wally blushed.

"What the hell?" Artemis gaped like an exasperated mother.

"Had to show he was grieving. May as well let everyone else know his mental state's not heading towards the deep end."

"You planned this…didn't you," Kaldur stated. Definitely not a question.

Nightwing smiled impossibly wider. "Yep."

* * *

**Quick thing: Once the other chapters begin to show up, readers will notice a repeat of scenes in different POVs. This is going to be done on purpose. It's to show chaos as well as how things are all connected. Please be patient with them.**


	2. Kaldur'ahm

Levels of Sick: Kaldur'ahm

Black Manta was not one to with whom others fucked.

Plain and simple. He'd fought on par with Aquaman for years. He had even had a son before Aquaman had. Then again, he didn't have a wife like the queen of Atlantis. No one would though. She is one of a kind. She cares for only her husband and her students.

Garth must hate him now. He was alright with Kaldur having latent feelings for Tula; he'd understood it. So had Tula. It had become a rule though that if they were to work with each other, Kaldur would have to curb himself, talk to someone. He'd have to learn to live with the fact that his two best friends were in love with each other…again.

He'd dealt with it.

He had.

Then…she died.

Nightwing…he'd been the one to show up with blood covering his uniform; his_ Robin_ uniform. He could barely find the blood on the red and black but the splatter/smear on his face and arms had quickly caught his attention.

_"Robin!" Batman yelled, panic in his tone. He rushed to his son's side. The team had been late. Everyone was worried. M'Gann had managed to get her Bio-Ship in with what looked like the entirety of the team that had gone. _

_Robin had been on point. He'd been sent with M'Gann, Tula, Beast Boy, and Bumblebee. Easy, stealth mission. Typical Team Mission._

_"I'm-," Robin began before Batman started looking him over as Bumblebee shooed Beast Boy out. His gloved hands went over his son's body. Kaldur had been overseeing Superboy and Mal working on cycles together. Sphere was being playfully jealous, nudging Connor's arms every so often. Wolf was lying nearby too, Beast Boy shifting into a canine form and cuddling up to him._

_Wolf grumbled but stopped after a moment when Beast Boy whined. Connor gave the boy a worried glance before returning his attention back to Batman and Robin. The elder was still looking over the younger who was trying hard to get away from him. _

_Something was wrong. Something was horribly wrong._

_"I'm fine Dad!" Robin yelled his fifteen-year-old voice far past cracking with puberty. He'd grown taller, the idea that he was a Boy Wonder beginning to no longer apply. He'd be a heart breaker soon for sure with his fit form and boyish charms – he had a few of the girls already swooning over him at times. It was hard to believe the party they'd given him had happened six months ago. "It's…it's not mine."_

_Kaldur felt his blood chill, heard the rest of the room go silent._

_A blur of red raced into the Bio-Ship only to race out with an addition of light blue, yellow, and red. Kaldur's blood went even colder. Those colors…Bumblebee and M'Gann stepped out of the ship, faces stricken._

_Blood. Frozen._

_M'Gann was trying hard to pull Garfield to her. Kaldur wasn't sure when she'd changed her look. The shorter hair looked good. She hugged the boy close. He looked at Batman and Robin, the elder's jaw almost hitting the floor as Robin's lips stopped moving. Connor's got a hand over his mouth. _

_He looked horrified. _

_He'd heard something._

_Something horrible, unbearable._

"Kaldur'ahm," Black Manta called.

Kaldur's head snaps back to reality, Artemis giving him a look as he tries to keep himself composed. She's been assigned as his right arm. He brought her in after earning trust. As far as they know, her loyalty is only to him and his desires. They have no idea what he really wants to have happen. They think that he's loyal to his father but he's loyal only to his friends; to his true family.

"Yes Father?"

He earned a look. Should he not have said 'father'? Well whoops.

"The prisoner," the elder man stated as if he'd been speaking for a while. Another whoops on him then. "I would like you to interrogate him. You've been away from that team for a while now; I'm sure a few…_things_ have changed since you left."

He nodded quietly. Artemis gave him a worried look as soon as she felt it safe. Manta had smiled at them and turned his back on them.

"Good," Manta stated calmly, hands clasped behind his back. His entire body radiated a commanding look. A straight back, shoulder spaced feet, a confident expression. If Kaldur had not met Batman before he'd met this man, he'd probably be terrified of him. Well, more terrified of him than he already was.

If they were ever caught…he didn't want to think about it.

"Try to find out who had joined since you left, find out how they work," Manta commanded.

"Yes Sir…I shall do my best."

"Of course you will. I believe that much from you my son. You would not betray family." He placed an armored hand on Kaldur's shoulder, squeezed and then left them alone. "Take your time; I would like him to be broken slowly."

He disappeared around a corner, leaving him and Artemis alone to stare into the 'cell' at La'gaan. It was more like a tank. Kaldur had seen one very much like it in Atlantis once; it was used for trespassing Surface Dwellers who were thought as threats.

No…Atlantis had had a bad view of the Land Lovers for polluting the waters, killing fish in an overzealous way, and also acting like they owned the sea. They didn't though. Fish and Atlanteans owned the sea. However, the League had made an alliance of sorts with them so the tank was hardly if ever used now. No one was drowned as punishment now.

This however was slightly different. Unlike the cells in Posidonis, this one wouldn't pump in overwhelming amounts of water into an enclosed space. This one only circulated very dry air into the space. Dehydration was a painful way to go. As long as they made sure that La'gaan was getting some nutrients and water, he'd last a while.

It was fairly hard to break the glass either way though. If they had to break cover for any reason, he'd need to keep track of the code to the door. If he didn't they'd be in serious shit. Nightwing would kill him personally if he didn't at least try to get La'gaan out once cover was blown – unless he had a damned good reason.

"Let's start," he muttered as he pressed in the code he'd been given – praying it would never change. Artemis was at his side already, looking like a loyal right arm when what she really was, was a supporting one.

The door slid up, air hissing at them darkly. La'gaan lifted his head slowly only to sneer at them. He was in a kneeling position, his wrists bound up a little above his shoulders, his arms bent like uppercased 'L's. He'd probably been standing at one point since the 'cuffs' – if one could call them that – could be raised or lowered depending on the flick of a button.

Kaldur wanted him kneeling; let him rest his feet a bit.

"Welcome…Lagoon Boy," he said angrily. He was surprised he'd been able to keep this act up for so long. It wasn't even wearing thin yet. Artemis was having a harder time falling in but they'd made it apparent she preferred to speak to him more than anyone else. She had to have trust before she spoke to someone.

"Welcome?" La'gaan snarled. "To what?"

"To hell."

* * *

"So…you're late," Artemis groused at Wally. He wanted to laugh but they'd been listening to the Blüdhaven police scanner for the past hour. He felt a bit dim spirited.

However, that could also be attributed to his worry that they had been followed or tracked. That would be their luck. His father had allowed him to 'scout' about the seedy docks of Gotham and Blüdhaven when he'd said there may be chances for alliances that would hide their activities from others as well as give supplies. All he could hope was no one would notice who he was really visiting with.

He ignored the knowing, expecting smile on Artemis' face as she gazed at her loved one from her perch.

"Sorry…I'm the last one here…aren't I?"

"Actually…" she began, her face twisting in embarrassment and worry. Her bottom lip stretched out and down a bit.

"Nightwing has not come yet," Kaldur said carefully. He liked the sound of his voice around the three who knew. There, he sounded the way he preferred.

Not the way he had to sound in a fight, around his father, around La'gaan.

_"Tell me!" he snarled. He was squatting next to La'gaan, arms on his knees. Artemis was standing at the door, her face schooled in passive disinterest. She was anything but._

_"Go to Davy Jones."_

_"That…is where_ you_ are headed if you do not cooperate."_

_La'gaan took a breath then spat in his face. Kaldur let out an understandable roar. Artemis was across the room in a second, slamming her fist into the boy's jaw in a hard, downward angle. His head jerked and he whimpered in pain._

_"Congratulations," Kaldur hissed as he stood, wiping the spit from his nose and cheek. "You've earned another punishment. Guard!"_

_Electricity lit the room. La'gaan's screams filled the halls. Kaldur and Artemis knew Manta was smiling somewhere._

"Not yet?" Wally asked sounding horrified. "You're sure."

They nodded and Artemis pulled up the police radio, shifting to Gotham broadcasts for a little bit. He couldn't take anymore of Blüdhaven's insanity. He saw the confusion on Wally's face as the crackle of static filled the boat house. He couldn't help but wonder why there were more wood crates in here than he thought was normal.

Before he knew it, Wally and Artemis were next to each other again, arms wrapped around each other. Wally had an arm around her shoulders while she had one around his waist.

"We're going to listen to the scanner until he shows up?" Wally asked. Kaldur nodded. He was tempted to shrug considering he and Artemis had had nothing much better to do while they'd been waiting.

Well…nothing but console each other.

_"I think…you broke it," Artemis said, her voice barely hiding the horror she felt. The fake glee was surprising, even to him. La'gaan was breathing harshly through clenched teeth; spit shooting through them when he exhaled. His face was gripped in pain._

_He'd said something that had naturally set him off. Called him a traitor one too many times and he felt…defensive. He'd punched La'gaan's shoulder._

_The snap sickened him. He'd heard Nightwing speak of hearing bones breaking a mile away. Football games and rugby games. Dangerous sports. Then again, Nightwing was the one who'd show up in casts all the time._

_He was always smiling, saying he'd had worse._

"Oh…we'll be getting some stuff from Gotham too," he heard Artemis say. He saw Wally nod in understanding, remembering how close they were to a city limit sign.

Two and a half miles from Gotham's farthest outskirts. Two and a half miles from Nightwing's territory. Had he heard of what had happened at Wayne Manor all those weeks ago?

_"Interesting…" Black Manta mused as they watched the news reels. Dick Grayson was hospitalized. Someone had robbed his home. The Team had been present. Godfrey was beginning to sound like a genius for calling the League idiots with god complexes. "Too bad it's so…Gotham-like. Don't you agree my son?"_

_The only thing running through his mind was, where were Nightwing, Batgirl, and Robin? "Yes…Father," he said._

"…We have a 10-80 in progress," the scanner chirped. "Repeat, all units, we have a 10-80 heading towards Blüdhaven docks."

"10-80?" Kaldur asked, genuinely interested. He had never really had to learn the police codes like Nightwing. They were…alien to him.

_"Oh come_ on_! They're not_ that _hard to learn!" nearly fourteen-year-old Robin scoffed. "I learned them when I was_ nine _for Christ's sake!"_

_"Maybe for you, my friend, they are easy to learn. I however, will never say you should try to learn Atlantean."_

_Robin stuck his tongue out at him like a spoiled child. "Whatever. I bet I'd learn it in now time."_

_Kaldur laughed._

_"I have no doubts in your confidence either."_

"A chase in progress," Wally and Artemis chorused. They blushed. He tried to not laugh at them. They were very well managed. The three listened on, hoping the chase would stay where it was.

"We're delayed," a new voice scratched. His ears were beginning to hurt again. Static had always bugged him when it came to being on the surface world. Maybe it was because he'd been under the surface for so long? "Some sort of blockade. Can't get past it easy."

"This is Commissioner Gordon; I'm en route with my lieutenant Bullock," a familiar voice buzzed. He felt a bit of comfort in that voice. "We're on our way."

There was a yell, from another car, the one calling in. His heart stopped for a moment. "Fuck! Where'd that cycle come from?"

Cycle? Was it Robin? Could it be Batgirl? Possibly Nightwing? Could be any of the three; could be a random bystander being an idiot on a motorcycle.

"Back off the bike officer," Gordon commanded. Okay…maybe not. "I repeat, back off the bike!"

"Commissioner!"

"BACK OFF THE CYCLE NOW OFFICER!"

"I've…never heard him that ticked off before," Wally mused, his eyes wide. Kaldur and Artemis nodded silently in agreement. He hadn't either. He was surprised the commissioner could even sound like that at all.

_"He's a nice guy," Robin said. "He's had a rough time here though so…cut him some slack. Batman trusts him; I trust him; you have no better character witnesses in the world."_

_That heartbreaking smile appeared again. Nearly fourteen and he already had the scariest charms Kaldur had ever seen. Wally should be jealous. Horridly jealous._

_"I…have doubts about him…never have."_

_"…Yeah…right…that's why you're giving him such a hairy eye-ball," Robin said. He could hear him rolling his eyes._

_"A what?"_

_"It's an expression," Robin laughed._

_"Please explain," Kaldur sighed as he shook his head._

_"You know those looks that pretty much say 'did you really just say that?' or 'is that smell coming from you or the carpet?'" Kaldur nodded. The ones that got you raised brow and a partial glare. "That is what is known as a hairy eyeball look."_

_Kaldur gave him a look._

_"There…you just gave me one. Nice!"_

_"…Thank you?"_

_Robin cackled before swinging off the rooftop._

"There's a 10-53 on Slate Road," someone called in.

"Ambulance in route to 1043 South Dixon Street," someone announced. "CSI and Detectives will meet on scene. Possible code 30."

Kaldur felt his blood freeze a bit. Felt it drain from his cheeks. He tried to ignore the worried look on Wally's face.

"Possible homicide?" Kaldur asked in slight horror. That one he remembered.

_"Code…30?" he asked. It'd come through a radio his friend was listening to. Every so often, that phrase would come through._

_"Homicide," fifteen-year-old Robin sighed heavily with a guttural sound in his voice. He hadn't been at the Cave for a week and now he'd spent two days there with a police scanner that was supped up to pick up Gotham's scanners._

_"And you…had one of these recently?"_

_"Yes. When Victor Zsasz escapes, those tend to show up and in massive quantities." He sounded irritated, tired, worried, stressed._

_Kaldur had heard of this name. Mr. Zsasz, the Butcher. An unpredictable, cunning, agile, deceptively strong man with a tall, wiry frame. He could go toe-to-toe with Batman. He slit peoples' throats, could throw knives, and is usually put into Arkham whenever he was caught._

_"A…rough week then?"_

_"Yeah. A really rough fucking week," Robin growled. Kaldur was a bit taken back._

_"Do you…want to talk?"_

_"Talk? About what? About my father fighting a freak job who carves tally marks into his skin for each person he kills saying I have to stay here until he calls because I almost got killed by the son of a bitch after he got out?"_

_He was yelling. Connor was yanking someone back from a doorway, face grim. He'd been learning a lot over the past two years._

_"Do you want to see the scar?" Robin jeered before storming out._

_Connor and Tula peeked out from behind the door they'd backed up from, faces worried._

_"…Oddly…" Kaldur found himself musing aloud as he gazed at Robin's exit. "…Yes…I do."_

"Code 37 at 1043 South Dixon," the person reiterated. "Code 37."

"Aggravated assault," Artemis sighed in slight horror. She must have seen his confused face. He hadn't learned that one before. He'd remember it now though.

Same address. Had something changed? A lot could happen in a second. Men in firing lines on battle fields knew that _very_ well.

"Possible homicide turned aggravated assault," Wally sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. "Sounds like a busy night in Gotham."

"Sounds like a bad night in Gotham," Kaldur said as he straightened. "That pursuit; where is it now?"

He wanted to know. Had to. It was something that came with his old job. Be careful what you wish for right?

"Commissioner Gordon here," Gordon called through static. "I see the suspect's car. I see the cycle. We're too close to Blüdhaven city limits. Call their department, tell them of the situation. Damn it…He's going to get himself killed doing that!"

"Bat-kids," a graveled voice snarled.

"Bullock! He's the best we've got right now; _he_ doesn't have to worry about city limits like we do!"

_Male_, Kaldur thought. _Robin or Nightwing. He still has his thumb on the radio button. He's driving, trying to keep everyone updated. Maybe his partner's annoying him? That's why he's letting this conversation be heard?_

No…this was normal for the two.

_"That's Bullock," Robin said. They were on the roof over looking an alleyway in the Burrows. A big cop was following Gordon. He was loud. He was obnoxious. "He's somewhat anti-Bat but he's not a bad guy."_

_"He does not like Batman?"_

_"Complains about chain of custody for evidence – which I have to admit we don't really follow protocol on that stuff since we're technically vigilantes and therefore feel we are above the law – but he'll have your back in a jam. Though…he and the Commissioner do tend to have arguments over certain things."_

_"…That…does not sound very…promising."_

_"Kaldur…I'm turning fourteen in two days, the Team's on a mission in Gotham, I may be able to talk Batman into letting you guys into the Bat Cave if this ends before then and ends well. Can you just…stop being pessimistic?"_

_"…Pessimistic?"_

_"You know…Being unsure of something or refusing to do something because you're worried it'll blow up in your face?"_

_Kaldur shook his head. Robin snorted._

_"Yeah…right…that's a lie and you know it."_

_"It is not." Well that felt petulant._

_"Really? You're what? Seventeen? Have you ever wanted to tell a girl you liked her in a more…intimate way than the typical 'we're friends' way but you never told her because you weren't sure she felt the same?"_

_Kaldur felt his face burning. He looked away. Robin was sputtering with laughter._

"Commissioner," Bullock whined softly.

"Enough!" A pause. "Suspect's crossed to point of no return…I have to stop…Nightwing is in pursuit. Did _anyone _call Blüdhaven PD?"

He stopped listening to the radio, engines reaching his ears. One sounded sick or near empty. The other sounded strong and angry. He closed his eyes and focused on them. The sick one clunked to a pathetic stop, a creak of an opening door, panicked steps on gravel. The strong one stopped smoothly, purring in anticipation. He heard another set of feet on gravel then a whir of weighted ropes.

A yelp reached his ears, followed by a thud. There was the bad guy, on the dock, struggling to get out. Like he ever would.

"Take that you lousy son of a bitch!" Nightwing's voice bellowed, sounding proud of himself. Kaldur felt his heart begin to settle back to a normal rhythm, sighing quietly with relief.

Wally was gone already. Artemis was picking her way down from the crates. She gave him a relieved look that he was sure he mirrored perfectly.

"Hey Bud!" Wally called after he raced to his friend's side. "Should you even be in the field?"

_What?_ He and Artemis poked their heads out from behind the door. With a look at the guy, they decided he was harmless.

"With this leg? No." Kaldur could feel his smile. He was sure it was wide as hell too.

"What's the story?" Artemis asked. She was braver, stepping out of the boat house and pointing at the guy.

"Aggravated Assault on a girl; _damn_ near killed her," Nightwing called, limping carefully up to them. He was beaming despite the split in his lip.

"What happened to you?" Kaldur asked worriedly. A bad leg meant millions of bad things for them all but mainly Nightwing. His life revolved around being able to do flips, to land safely on his feet.

"Uh…something fell on me," he said pointing to his leg. "And someone here is a better actor than you two." He pointed at the lip while Wally blushed.

"What the hell?" Artemis gaped like an exasperated mother. She was glaring at her boyfriend.

"Had to show he was grieving. May as well let everyone else know his mental state's not heading towards the deep end."

"You planned this…didn't you," Kaldur stated. Definitely not a question. There was no point in turning it into one when it couldn't possibly be a question.

Nightwing smiled impossibly wider. "Yep."

_How was he able to smile like that? After everything, he still smiles?_

* * *

"Please," Kaldur drawled in an almost bored tone. "Just…tell us what we want to know and this will all stop."

La'gaan was sitting on his knees, one arm in a compression sling that kept it firmly in place against his torso. Kaldur had broken his shoulder indeed. It was not a horrid break, it was clean and all, but La'gaan couldn't use the arm for a month or so. He was being treated very well for a prisoner who wasn't cooperating with questioning.

"I've told you to go to Davy Jones…I stick by that."

Artemis was at the door, squatting on the balls of her feet, arms on her knees. She groaned and sank herself to the floor. His feelings exactly. He was getting frustrated.

_"Robin! Stop!" he cried as the fourteen-year-old moved to toss a man off a roof top._

_"Oh relax Aqualad," the teen growled. He has a tie around his ankle, I've done this before, I know what I'm doing." He jerked the man to his feet. "Ready to jump?"_

_"N-no! Please! D-don't!"_

_Robin tossed him anyway, ignoring Kaldur's bellows to stop._

"I'm not the way you remember," Kaldur tried, his teeth clenched. "Just because my father wants me to take my time breaking you, doesn't mean _I_ do. My friend there, agrees wholeheartedly with me."

"You all got his girl killed," Artemis sang with a sickly sweet voice and smile. "You should feel his pain…only fair."

_"I'm…going to pull from my sister's bitchy days."_

_"…Alright…."_

La'gaan gave her a horrified look but it turned into a sneer. He didn't believe her words. That wasn't a good thing to do. For all he knew, she was speaking truth. Maybe Kaldur _did_ want the Team to feel his pain of losing a loved one.

"You know…maybe I should take one of your fins from your head to send it to _her_," Kaldur hissed into his ear.

_That _got his attention. His red eyes were wide, panicked. He may not have believed Artemis' words but her certainly believed Kaldur's. Kaldur had always been a man of his word. Or, at least, he'd tried to be.

Artemis had a sick smirk on her face. Only Kaldur knew she was forcing it. Wally wasn't as good an actor as her but he was sure that Nightwing had them all beat. He'd been taught by one of the best actors in the world. Batman was good at disguises. He was good at playing parts. Nightwing was too.

_"Where's Robin?" Connor asked as he and Wolf dragged in some more decorations that the girls had ordered them to find. Wolf had a streamer in his mouth and was carefully stepping to avoid getting himself tangled while Connor carried a box. "Isn't he turning fifteen today hence all the decorations and presents?"_

_"He's with Batman still," Karen said as she flew over their heads at her normal human size. Wonder Girl was up there with her. M'Gann was cooking and baking while Garfield helped the girls with the high up stuff. Kaldur, La'gaan, and Connor were on the lower decorations. Jaime was late._

_"RECOGNIZED, BLUE BEATLE, B22," the computer sang._

_"Sorry! Sorry! I brought party poppers!" Jaime called as he rushed in with a couple plastic shopping bags in hand. "Sorry!"_

_"Breathe," Connor sighed at him as he placed the box on the couch. "It's alright. You're here before Robin so who gives a crap right?" Jaime nodded quickly as he gulped to catch his breath._

_"Right…" he sighed in relief. "So…when's Robin supposed to show up?"_

_M'Gann was looking at the clock. "In…an hour or so?"_

_The hour passed slowly but they finished early, Garfield and Jaime exchanging stories. Kaldur sat down near M'Gann, Connor, and La'gaan. Rocket and Zatanna arrived, their numbers changed since they'd joined the League. Artemis and Wally showed up in civilian clothes._

_None of them expected Roy._

_"RECOGNIZED, ROBIN, B01," the computer called. _

_The lights were doused faster than Flash could move, the Team hiding behind furniture and whatnot. Soft footsteps came up to the hall, entered the room. Kaldur could see the silhouette of the once youngest Team Member. His arm lifted to the switch, slowly._

_The lights came on, the Team leapt out of their hiding places._

_"SURPRISE!" Most of them called. Connor, Wally, Artemis, and Kaldur were silent, their eyes smiling at the birthday boy._

_"…Hey," Robin said, a smile forcing its way onto his face. It was losing its roundness, getting longer around the chin. Kaldur had a feeling it had started a long time ago. "Thanks guys! You got me…" He tugged at his civilian clothes a bit. He wasn't standing as straight as he usually would._

_The party went well, everyone stuffing themselves. Well, not Robin. For some reason, he had hardly any appetite. They shrugged it off as it'd been a bad week in Gotham as usual._

_Two days later, a rumor filled the Cave that Robin had been down for the past five._

_He'd taken one to the stomach._

"I'm not playing with you," Kaldur stated. "Nor is she." He nudged his head towards Artemis who smiled and waved with only her fingers.

La'gaan was glaring at him again.

"The Team will take you down."

He refused to talk after that; it earned him a new bruise on his jaw.

* * *

Nightwing wasn't pulling his punches for some reason.

Kaldur could feel the bruises on his bruises growing slowly. He was really glad for the armor suddenly. Artemis was ducking away from Red Arrow of all people. He'd cleaned up since Kaldur had last seen him years ago. He still looked half dead with exhaustion but it was a fulfilled exhaustion.

Much better than what he had before.

Kaldur had hated seeing the emptiness and sorrow he'd been carrying. Cheshire had done him some good sure but she'd left for a life of crime when he'd not shown her any affection in return. Kaldur couldn't really blame her on that though. He could understand. Doing something fulfilling was sometimes worth a sacrifice – or more.

Neither of them were pulling punches though.

Shit…this was supposed to be an easy mission, he thought bitterly. He noted the cruel irony of his thoughts as he fought previous teammates and friends. This was beginning to hurt more than it should have. He'd known the risks sure – Nightwing had gone over them carefully with all of them – but this was different.

Why wasn't he holding back by at least a bit?

Roy he could understand not holding back. He'd never really done that within the limits of reason. However, he never knew him to be close to breaking bone and putting them into shock like he was now. Nightwing was doing some of the same. He seemed to be in a killing mood.

Not good.

They were screwed if this kept up.

He had to stop it. He had to stop it now.

He did what he never wanted to do to his friends.

In seconds, he'd called water up from the bay they were near, throwing it at Roy and Nightwing. It was instinctual. He'd done that before to others who were attacking him; anything to get them away from him so he could get an attack in or recover. This time however, he went overboard. He threw Roy away from Artemis – her cover extremely delicate even with the armor protecting the necklace giving it to her – but he did something else with Nightwing.

"Nightwing!" Roy yelled in a panic.

"Kaldur'ahm!" Artemis yelled. She placed a hand on his wrist and he released the water he'd been controlling. "Are you alright?" She was asking in a different experience though. He wasn't.

Nightwing was coughing heavily, water falling from his mouth. Roy rushed over to him, checked him over. He glared at Kaldur after a moment. Nightwing was still wheezing.

"You son of a bitch," Roy snarled as he knocked an arrow. "I _knew_ you'd gone bad but damn it, I never thought you'd kill_ him_ of all people!"

"Shit happens," Artemis answered quickly. "People change. Life goes on. Deal with it."

"Shut up! He killed my daughter's aunt and just tried to kill someone I know he gave more of a damn about compared to anyone!" Roy shouted.

_His daughter? He has a kid? When the hell did_ that _happen exactly?_

From the look on her face, Artemis was thinking the same thing. His daughter's _aunt_. He'd killed his daughter's _aunt_. He had no sisters, just source material that could double as a twin brother – Kaldur was sure of it since he knew Superman called Superboy 'brother' more than son; _that_ was _Batman_'s purview. His…daughter's _aunt_.

"You got Cheshire pregnant?" Kaldur blurted. He managed to add a cruel laugh. "Thanks for revealing a weakness!"

"It's not like she'll let you or anyone else harm her," Roy snarled. Nightwing was sitting up shakily. His jaw was clenched in a snarl. He really did look ready to kill someone or something.

Was it the other way around?

"Red," Nightwing snarled. "Get out of my fucking way."

"Stay down you idiot!" Roy yelled.

"Get. Out. Of my way!" Nightwing roared, shooting out from behind him.

"Do it!" Artemis yelped. She was scared. He knew what she meant though, his hands tightening on the handles of his water-bearers. His Waterpack wasn't needed; he was already close to a great water source.

He slammed his friends away, into a warehouse.

"Run," he hissed. "Retreat!"

"KALDUR!" Nightwing roared as he climbed his way out of the fallen detritus in the warehouse.

It was too late; he'd already called all of his men back.

* * *

Silence is deafening.

He and Artemis were alone with each other. Well, they were with La'gaan but he was unconscious; a sleeping drug since he needed to rest. Also, Black Manta wanted them to understand that he was going to let them rest from the most recent failure.

_The tapes from the flyers were playing before him. Kaldur felt his blood freeze. This wasn't healthy. It couldn't possibly be healthy._

_"You did well," Manta stated. He was calm. Was that good? "Your opponents, at least one of them, was ready to kill. Your call to retreat was a good one."_

_"Thank you…I think."_

_"It saved your life and that of your men. It was a good call….A better one, would have been to drown him while you had the chance…You may leave."_

So, there they were, sitting with an unconscious La'gaan in utter silence. They weren't very sure where to start. At least, he knew he wasn't.

"Can we just blow it?" she whispered. There could be cameras and microphones. She was being wise though he preferred that she hadn't brought up the idea.

"I…I don't know," he whispered back. He glanced at La'gaan. "I…I almost _killed_ Nightwing today. I don't think I can take that risk anymore."

"Should…should we just…" she waved her hand then looked at La'gaan. Their eyes locked and she gave a subtle kill signal.

He stared at her. Was she suggesting they fake and accidental kill? With Manta possibly watching? This would take more planning than even her own faked death. That had to be impossible! She had to be insane to think they could pull that off without Nightwing's help!

But…if they _could_ figure it out…if they could get La'gaan out of there. That meant that they could prove to themselves that they could pull more than just one fast one past the old man.

He had to cover his smile. It was too good. He had to talk to Wally. Maybe he'd even know what was bugging Nightwing?

_"Hey…I managed to get a hit on Black Manta," Kaldur said, a bit proud of himself. Fifteen-year-old Robin gave him an odd look. He – and the one's who'd been on the mission with him – had been stuck on review for the past week and a half since Tula died. He'd been in civilian clothes the entire time. _

_It was beginning to remind some of them of his fifteenth birthday seven months ago when he'd stopped showing up for the longest time and only showing up in his civilian clothes occasionally saying he couldn't go on available missions until someone had practically forced him onto the last one he'd been on._

_Kaldur hadn't taken time. He was in denial and working kept his mind off it._

_"So?"_

_Why did he sound bitter?_

_"So…do you want to put it into our database?"_

_"He already is in the Database," Robin growled. Well…so much for being smooth about it. Robin gave him another look. "What do you really want to do with it?"_

_Well damn. Looked like he was caught._

_"Manta…said something that…got to me…" How could he word this carefully? "I want to do a paternity test." So much for carefully._

_Robin gave him a look, swabbed the blood off his knuckles, then left._

_A month later, he was telling him it was a match._

"I think this is a good idea," Kaldur decided. "Shall we?"


	3. Artemis

Levels of Sick: Artemis

_Faking someone's death is something you can't take lightly_, she decided.

She never _had _taken the idea of 'dying' – in any of its capacities – lightly but now that she was technically dead, she quickly understood the pain she was giving to friends. God forbid her _sister_ ever found out. She actually feared what Jade might do to her friends should she learn that they'd sort of gotten her killed on a mission.

She'd been noticing things about being someone tied to a killer too.

Kaldur got approving looks from his father, from the Meta-men, and from her. She knew however that hers weren't just because she had to give him points for killing an old friend. Hers were because she knew what risk he was taking. She was taking it too after all. However, when they were with La'gaan, who had no idea of her death yet, she only saw hatred, disappointment, and shame in his red eyes.

So much like Wally if Nightwing did something hazardous to health.

_"What were you thinking?" she yelled at Wally and Robin. _

_She couldn't believe Wally had pulled a Robin stunt. Couldn't believe that Robin hadn't been the one encouraging it either. She simply could not believe that her own boyfriend of a year would ninja off on her to try to catch someone who had a gun trained on a teammate who'd dodged more bullets than him._

_"He was going to shoot Rob!" Wally cried defensively. "I had to do something!"_

_"No you didn't," Robin muttered to himself, arms crossed over his chest, eyes fixed on a wall that didn't have teammates near it. Was he angry for being protected?"_

_"Well excuse me Mr. Non-Meta-Human Mortal but I think I did!" Wally yelled at his friend. They'd been in disagreeable silence the whole ride home from Star City. She was impressed they waited this long to have a shouting match._

_"Oh shut up!" Robin yelled back. "I'm not a thirteen-year-old pipsqueak anymore you annoying pain in the ass!"_

_"I'm the pain in the ass? You're the one who likes to disappear on people!"_

_"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!" she bellowed. The boys fell silent, Wally glaring at his friend in an almost equally terrifying glare. Robin's was stronger though. He was right though._

_He wasn't a pipsqueak in terms of size anymore._

_"I just want to know what the hell you were thinking Wally," she hissed, hands clenching. "You and I both know that Robin can handle himself so why didn't you assess the situation?"_

_"I saw a guy pointing a gun at my friend Artemis," Wally growled. "I didn't need to assess any further than that."_

_"Idiot," Robin hissed before stalking back to Gotham._

She was walking through the Manta Lair as she called it, behind Kaldur and in her new Meta-armor. She had schooled her features as usual. She noticed that the necklace would hide her old, usual, natural looks but she still felt like she had to be careful with her facial features. She wasn't sure she could change those with magic.

Kaldur had broken La'gaan's shoulder in interrogation. She'd tried to not rush to the younger boy's hand too quickly but she wasn't too sure about it. The last known 'rookie' of the Team had screamed in pain, writhing away from them as best he could.

Black Manta was smiling at them when they passed him. She'd known he'd be pleased with them. She'd had a sneaking suspicion they were being watched whenever she went into that tank; her mental reasoning for being close to the door.

_"You're. A. Traitor!" La'gaan yelled. Kaldur's fist snapped up, back, forward. He screamed._

One too many times. She'd seen her sister do that before. Their father called her a failure one too many times and she'd snapped a fist against his knee – the only thing she could reach easily at that age. The snap of the bone came flooding back to her memory as Kaldur's fist connected. She knew her voice barely hid her horror.

_"It was never in the plan…"_

She knew that damn it! She knew it hadn't been the plan to have one of theirs be taken as a hostage! She knew that!

"You broke his arm," she hissed when they were alone.

"I'm not proud of it."

"Why did-?" She stopped. "You…he said it one too many times?" A shaky nod. "I'm sorry."

"I didn't _mean_ to!" he hissed, eyes grieving. "It…I just…I don't even remember making the fist!"

Her hand fell on his shoulder and squeezed gently.

"I'm sorry."

* * *

Artemis had known something was wrong when they'd started watching news reels again and all Black Manta found himself interested in was Gotham and the recent theft-slash-attack on Wayne Manor. It was nice to know that hardly anything less than major didn't catch his attentions. Though, she wasn't sure how it was to be counted as major considering that it was a banquet or fundraiser type thing.

Then she'd spotted the Team in the crowds.

She couldn't believe her eyes though when she saw the tell-tale blur of red and yellow zipping from ambulance to ambulance while the others worked on lifting and 'fixing' – patching really – fallen pillars and smashed glass. She spotted M'Gann and Cassie working together with Connor and Jaime. Her blurred boyfriend rushed around as Garfield helped Karen see to what was missing or not.

Her eyes never picked up the capes of Batgirl or Robin let alone the flitting shadows of Nightwing's form.

Her heart seized when she realized it was a Gotham scene but the Gotham Kids weren't there.

_"Where were you?" Artemis asked a bit fearful. The boy hadn't been at their Gotham mission the day before; not that they'd botched it but it would have been much nicer to have him there._

_"I was busy," Robin who was turning fourteen in a month or so muttered. He sounded like he was trying to shrug her off as fast as possible too._

_"With what?"_

_"A mission with Batman."_

_"What mission with Batman?" she shrieked. "We would have been heard about that from Tornado if that were true!"_

_"Not if Batman simply didn't tell him."_

_"What kind of mission would he not tell anyone about?" Artemis cried. She noticed that Tula and Connor were trying to slide out of the room; had been since she'd screeched._

_"The kind that takes people to China?" Robin said, sarcastically and angrily. _

_"You were in China?"_

_"No; I was on a mountain in Japan!" Robin yelled before storming out._

_"What the hell?" she cried. Connor groaned while Tula winced. Artemis rounded on them. "Am I the only one who didn't know?"_

_"No…I overheard him talking to Batman about going to a teacher to brush up on his martial arts a few weeks ago," Connor said with a blush._

_"And you Tula?"_

_"He warned Kaldur before leaving; I was present."_

_"Well…he didn't tell Wally and it's Wally who's pitching the damn fits!" She glared at the doorway Robin had left through, her eyes sad and worried for her friend. "He should have told everyone on the team!"_

This wasn't like that though. She could tell. Their faces were all worried. She saw lips moving; asking where they were. There were shrugs, confused looks mixing with worried ones.

No one knew where they were.

* * *

The police scanner crackle was oddly comforting to listen to while she waited with Kaldur for Wally and Nightwing to show up. She'd tried to talk to Kaldur about things but neither one of them really wanted to talk about La'gaan and how they were doing the harm rather than the good. It was always the same; she could never quite get past that armor he was putting up to keep his sanity as intact as possible.

If they ever came out from deep cover, he'd be a wreck. He'd have to spend most of his time with Canary to find out if his head was even sound for field work – which Batman may _never_ clear him for even if they did explain why they'd done what they had. Hell, she had a feeling the team would alienate them faster than Godfrey and the public who listened to his nonsense.

Wally beat Nightwing there. She tried to not be worried; joked that he was late when he wasn't. He thought she was serious. Kaldur was silent but caring, falling back to his old self again. He did that when they were alone too. As long as no one picked up on it, she didn't care.

It meant he wasn't sinking too deep.

_"Where's Robin? I haven't seen him in a while," Tula asked with a soft smile._

_"Undercover," Kaldur sighed._

_"He's what?" Wally choked around food he'd been eating. _

_Artemis patted him on the back, a worried look growing on her face. Connor had obviously already heard about it, M'Gann giving him a look that said enough; she'd sensed his knowledge but he'd managed to hide it from her despite everything._

_"He's undercover…We're going to meet up with him in a few days though to do a checkup. If he's in uniform, he'll already have the target of this little manhunt Batman's put us on." Artemis remembered it. Some guy was peddling to teenagers around her school as well as other high schools. A few kids had died since they were complete idiots and took too much._

_"If he's not in uniform?" M'Gann asked worriedly._

_"Then we're not talking to him," Connor growled from his seat, hand almost fisting in Wolf's fur. He managed to stop himself though._

_"RECOGNIZED, ROBIN, B01," the computer sang, their blood freezing._

_"A few days?" Artemis asked. "Are you sure?"_

_"Positive!" Kaldur said his eyes fearful._

_"Guys!" Robin called, in uniform. "Come on! I know who can tell me who we want!" _

_"You're early," Connor said, relieved. _

_"Yeah…don't tell Bats," Robin sighed with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Trust me…If I stay too long in this…" He shuddered. "Come on."_

Wally was at her side, their arms wrapping about each other instinctively. She craved his touch, his warmth, the feel of his body against hers. Where she was supple, he was sound, secure; safe. She was delicate where he was gawky. They may have both been fair in complexion and hair color but where she was wheat, he was fire.

Fire was life in some idealisms. In others it was destruction, rage. Others, it was passion, inspiration.

Wheat was just food. Just a pale sort of color. Nothing like the brilliance and strange fluidity that fire held.

She fed her fire; her fire gave her reason to live.

She was complete with him there.

_"You know 'A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous,'" Wally said after she'd laid her lips against his – without any cause other than she'd felt like it. A mission had gone well. They were all alright. She wanted to kiss her boyfriend. So she did._

_"Who said that?" she chuckled._

_"Robin told it to me…a woman named Ingrid Bergman said it though."_

_"Robin…how old is he now?"_

_"Fifteen."_

_"He's going to break some poor girl's heart one day."_

_"Yeah…or she'll break his."_

_"Who says that'll happen?"_

_"…Experience."_

_"Huh?"_

_"…He's learned from Batman who pushes his loved ones away from him whilst also trying to protect them with his life…Knowing Rob…he'll be like his father."_

_She felt tears stinging in her eyes._

They listened to the radio. They gave Kaldur explanations of police codes as a chase began to head towards them. It never occurred to her that they should probably all hide, disappear. Never. Not once. Not even as tires and engines came closer to their place.

No…that boat house was their place. It was where they met to talk, to plan. It was home away from all their other homes. She felt safer here than in the Manta Lair because her friends were here. She didn't have to torture another person here. She could talk openly here. She didn't have to hide anything from the people here because they knew and understood.

She had no fear in that place.

"Take that you lousy son of a bitch!" Nightwing's voice bellowed, sounding proud of himself. She barely heard Kaldur sigh in relief. What had him so scared?

Wally was gone already. Artemis picked her way down from the crates. She gave Kaldur a relieved look that he mirrored perfectly. Good. He could still smile genuinely.

"Hey Bud!" Wally called after he raced to his friend's side. "Should you even be in the field?"

_Huh? Why shouldn't he be in the field?_

She and Kaldur poked their heads out from behind the door. With a look at the guy, they decided he was harmless.

"With this leg? No." _His leg? What had he done_ this _time?_

"What's the story?" Artemis asked. She was braver, stepping out of the boat house and pointing at the guy.

"Aggravated Assault on a girl; _damn_ near killed her," Nightwing called, limping carefully up to them. He was beaming despite the split in his lip.

"What happened to you?" Kaldur asked worriedly. She could only agree with him. His life revolved around being able to do flips, to land safely on his feet. It revolved on him being able to run from gun fire.

"Uh…something fell on me," he said pointing to his leg. "And someone here is a better actor than you two." He pointed at the lip while Wally blushed.

"What the hell?" Artemis gaped, sure that she sounded like an exasperated mother. She glared at Wally. These boys were doing stupid things while she was away again.

"Had to show he was grieving. May as well let everyone else know his mental state's not heading towards the deep end."

"You planned this…didn't you," Kaldur stated. It wasn't a question. It didn't need to be.

Nightwing smiled impossibly wider. "Yep."

_There's that heartbreaking smile I know._

* * *

She was sure La'gaan had a new bruise on his jaw.

She and Kaldur had sort of been forced to threaten to send a body part to the Team; to M'Gann really but it was easier for her to think that they wouldn't send it to a specific person _in_ the team. She'd played a type of jealousy card when they brought up Tula in their own little roundabout way. She'd told him she'd pull from her sister's book. He went with it. La'gaan hadn't believed her words so Kaldur threated mutilation.

That had panicked him a bit. Kaldur had tried to keep his promises after all and he usually did. Now, that was a terrifying thought that that one moral swing would stay in place. She'd forced a smirk onto her face, sure that Kaldur saw right through her.

They'd made it a habit to have him on his knees since it was the nicest thing they could do for him considering the situation they were all in. He hadn't really helped himself either, telling them to basically fuck in the general direction of off. He'd said something they both hoped, that the Team would take them down, then he'd shut down.

They had to give him the bruise.

Oh she hated Black Manta for making _them_ be the questioners. Then again…he could have chosen someone who'd _do_ the job.

At least they were getting good at acting.

Not as good as Nightwing but at least they were pulling a fast one on her friend's shitty father.

_"Why aren't you eating?" Tula asked. She'd come in late from a check in with Aquaman but she'd made it for the party. She'd apologized for being late, was forgiven by Robin himself, and then told that she hadn't been the only one by Jaime._

_Zatanna and Rocket chorused their agreements, making M'Gann blush._

_"Uh-uh girl," Raquel said in her usual fashion. "You worked your cute little self half to death to make this party even work and he'd not eating your perfectly made cake or anything!" She rounded on Robin. "Why ain't you eating?"_

_"I…already ate at home," he said with a shy smile. He wasn't sitting as straight as he usually did, his voice was soft, his smiles a bit forced in Artemis' mind._

_"Guys," she called firmly, like a mother would to squabbling children. "Come on; he just got back from a mission with Batman. Maybe it was a crappy week."_

_The others gave smiles and nods of understanding then stopped bothering him to eat. She could have sworn he sent her a thankful glance though._

_After the party wound down, most of them leaving to go home or go to bed, Robin pulled her aside and thanked her himself. He really looked pale in his darker than usual civilian clothes. When had his tastes started turning that dark? He was fifteen for god's sake now! He was the brighter side of Gotham's Dynamic Duo. What's with the darker colors?_

_"You look sick," she said – blurted really. "Are you okay?"_

_"I'm fine," he said calmly, the smile on his face probably not reaching his eyes. Damned sunglasses at night crap._

_"You sure?"_

_"Completely. Thanks for covering for my not eating."_

_"Yeah…No problem. Take care of yourself Birthday Boy."_

_"…I am."_

_She learned two days later that he had been down for the past five days prior to his birthday party; that he was still off duty for a while._

_She found out by reading the paper that he'd been injured._

_She found out from Kaldur, who'd been hearing rumors that couldn't really be refuted since Tula and Cassie had overheard the sources, that he'd been shot._

_He'd been shot in the stomach._

_No wonder he couldn't eat._

* * *

_Well it's nice to see Roy again. And he's even looking healthier than I remember_, she thought before she had to duck another dangerous volley from him. _I could do with a few pulled punches though. Shit! That was close. How's Kaldur doing?_

Her eyes darted to her friend to find him damn near running away from Nightwing's own volley. He couldn't dodge everything Nightwing threw at him though and she'd never seen him that maddened before either so she wa loss. Plus, she had her own damned problems to deal with.

He could hear Nightwing's hits connect before they actually did; Kaldur's grunts and gasps only making her assumptions clear as day. She ducked away from Roy again. She wondered if her sister had come back to him. He wasn't as empty looking as she'd remembered. Maybe he'd gotten past the whole cloning and sleeper agent thing?

She ducked again only to nearly fall into another attack. She stumbled back, spotting the same anger he'd carried since that day five years ago.

_Maybe not._

Karma seriously was a bitch though. Black Manta _himself _had said this scouting mission was going to be easy _damn it_! Then suddenly, the _Team_ showed up out of fucking nowhere with only _one_ Gothamite. Connor had come in like a battering ram all by himself, slamming through their men like a razor sharp knife through warm butter. Wolf had naturally been hot on his heels, a smaller, _green_ copy chasing after the giant white canine. The New Genosphere had damn near bounded off a hill to slam into an anchored flyer.

She and Kaldur had been separated before they could even think 'well _shit_' complete with a southern drawl and suddenly, she was separated from him.

She didn't blame Roy for not holding back against her. He didn't know how good she might be so it was probably a good idea to just go as close to all out as possible until you get a grip on your opponent. Besides, his limits when it came to calling holding back were very different from hers, from Nightwing's. Though, at the moment, she had a feeling he wanted to break bone.

So did Nightwing.

A jet of water slammed Roy away from her. She took a breath, overjoyed to finally be able to actually get the chance. Her lungs clenched though when she glanced to Kaldur to find he'd surrounded Nightwing in water, the younger man struggling to get out, bubbles foaming from his mouth until he started to go limp.

"Nightwing!" Roy's voice. Panic filled it. _Shit. Stop. Stop. Stop!_

"Kaldur'ahm!" she yelled. She didn't know how she closed the space so quickly. She didn't care. She placed a hand on his wrist and tried to breathe again as he released the water. "Are you alright?" she asked wanting to check his mental status more than his physical. The answer was obvious; clear writing in his eyes.

Nightwing was coughing heavily, water falling from his mouth. Roy rushed over to him, checked him over. He glared at Kaldur after a moment. Nightwing was still wheezing. She felt her heart stop for a moment. Their men were barely keeping the boats safe from the other four attackers. They were fucked if this kept up.

"You son of a bitch," Roy snarled as he knocked an arrow. "I _knew_ you'd gone bad but damn it, I never thought you'd kill_ him_ of all people!"

"Shit happens," Artemis answered quickly. "People change. Life goes on. Deal with it." Cover was everything. She hoped she was playing it well.

"Shut up! He killed my daughter's aunt and just tried to kill someone I know he gave more of a damn about compared to anyone!" Roy shouted.

_His daughter? He has a kid? When the hell did_ that _happen exactly?_

From the look on his face, Kaldur was thinking the same thing. His daughter's _aunt_. _Kaldur_ had _killed _his daughter's _aunt_. Roy had no sisters, just Speedy who could double as a twin brother – she knew Superman called Superboy 'brother' more than son; _that_ was _Batman_'s purview. His…daughter's _aunt_.

"You got Cheshire pregnant?" Kaldur blurted. He added a cruel laugh. She could hear it choking him though. She couldn't blame him. She was fighting her sister's lover-slash- her niece's father? Oh fuck her life. "Thanks for revealing a weakness!"

"It's not like she'll let you or anyone else harm her," Roy snarled. Nightwing was sitting up shakily. His jaw was clenched in a snarl. He really did look ready to kill something…or some_one_.

"Red," Nightwing snarled. "Get out of my fucking way."

"Stay down you idiot!" Roy yelled.

"Get. Out. Of my way!" Nightwing roared, shooting out from behind him.

_Time to run._

"Do it!" She yelped. She was scared. He knew what she meant though, his hands tightening on the handles of his water-bearers. She was suddenly glad they were so close to a water source. Time was everything now.

He slammed their friends away, into a warehouse. She tried to not whimper at the sound of their landing.

"Run," he hissed. "Retreat!"

Like he had to clarify!

"KALDUR!" Nightwing roared as he climbed his way out of the fallen detritus in the warehouse.

It was too late; they were already gone, their enemies glaring and huffing at their retreat.

* * *

La'gaan had been given a sleeping aid.

She was so glad for it, so envious of him. He got to sleep while she and Kaldur sat in deafening silence. She couldn't tell where to start. She wanted to hop up and down thanks to the news that she had a niece. Then, she'd remember she was undercover and would be fighting Roy, the girl's father, her former teammate.

They were being allowed to rest after the failure. It had been an understanding thing for Manta to do; unexpected but not necessarily unappreciated. Though…she hadn't liked what he'd implied in those last couple sentences.

_"It saved your life and that of your men. It was a good call….A better one, would have been to drown him while you had the chance…You may leave."_

"Can we just blow it?" she whispered, fearing that even this place was under surveillance. It'd come to her attention that it may only be video but who knew if Manta could read lips or not? She could tell Kaldur didn't want to even start considering this.

"I…I don't know," he whispered back. He glanced at La'gaan. "I…I almost _killed_ Nightwing today. I don't think I can take that risk anymore."

"Should…should we just…" she waved her hand then looked at La'gaan. Their eyes locked and she gave a subtle kill signal.

He stared at her. Understandable. She could believe she was even suggesting this. She desperate though. She couldn't do this to La'gaan anymore. She hadn't known him nearly as well as Kaldur and this hurt her too much. She didn't care about the risks anymore.

Kaldur lifted a hand to cover a smile. Her eyes lit up.

"I think this is a good idea," Kaldur stated, his smile even glowing on his voice. "Shall we?"

"Hell yes."

* * *

She couldn't believe it fucking _worked_.

She thanked whatever god there was that it had though.

The careful injection of tetradotoxin that Kaldur had created for her had been modified to allow for the difference in species and size as well as the differences in age. He couldn't put it in through the water-swords like he had with her but the sleeping aids were the perfect thing to use. All he'd had to do was make a switch of tetradotoxin infused sea water for the clear sleeping aid and a few seconds later, the physicians would be scrambling to figure out what had gone wrong.

Oh it had been fun to watch! They'd been close to walking away after the injection only to stop when his monitors flat-lined. She had to keep her heart in her chest cavity and that alone kept her from smiling meanly at them.

Black Manta had not been pleased in the least, taking his rage out on the physicians. She had a feeling they would not be losing any sleep over that though since they'd noticed that the physicians were about as sick minded as Manta. How could they not sleep well knowing that the men who had whispered and plotted about drugging La'gaan with god awful toxins were getting in trouble for something that they could see them doing anyway?

_"Take the body somewhere and hide it," Manta had growled at them. Kaldur was standing calmly with her a step or two behind him on his right. "I don't care if you make it impossible to find or easy. Just get rid of it!"_

She already had the cure in a syringe hidden in her armor.

They were slipping into the usual boat house, the flyer silent in the water. Wally was pacing before them already, wearing a groove in the wood. He looked half panicked but she was too busy helping Kaldur juggle the limp body that they'd battered out of the ship and onto the pier wood to ask. Wally was at her side in a second.

"Whoa…what di those bastards _do_ to him?" he asked, hands clenching. She looked about for Nightwing only to find he wasn't there…again.

"We did it…actually," she said as she carefully laid him out before pulling the syringe out. She pressed it into the crook of La'gaan's good arm and slowly pushed the cure into his system. Her heart was pounding. She couldn't hear very well over it.

"You what?"

"It was more me than Artemis," Kaldur said in a soothing voice. "Besides, she had the cloak remember?"

"You…did all that?" Wally asked in slight terror. Kaldur nodded.

"I am not proud of it."

"Neither of us are," Artemis bounced in. "Where's Nightwing? I thought I told you to call him."

"I did…"

_Oh no…not that tone_, she mentally begged.

_"I called him alright?" Connor yelled, growled. "I. Called. Him."_

_It was nearing time for the funeral for Tula, all of them on edge. Kaldur more than any of them. For some reason, the adults – Batman and Aquaman especially – had been adamant that they did an autopsy on Tula to be sure of the circumstances of her death. No one had really been able to say what had actually happened. _

_That was the month long delay._

_Kaldur wasn't talking to Robin anymore. Or Robin wasn't talking to Kaldur anymore. Artemis had only been told that they'd been touchy for a while, that Connor probably knew why, and all three weren't talking. Wally had heard that the two were refusing to get into sparring matches with each other too. No one was sure what was going on save for when they saw Connor playing as a defender between the two._

_He was the one making sure that they stayed separate; pulling Superman and Batman into the scheme as well as Red Tornado._

_However, for some reason, Robin had been gone for at least two weeks. Batman was being pestered by J'onn and Clark about his son's disappearance act._

_He wasn't talking._

_"Did you call him?" Artemis asked Wally. They'd been thinking of retiring, Tula's death hitting them a little harder than they'd expected. They were going to tell the Team later this week. Robin and Kaldur had to come first though and this was probably the best time; when neither one could afford to make a scene._

_Clark moved up to his 'brother' and they started talking to each other softly. Artemis couldn't help but notice that he wasn't stalking after Batman like J'onn was._

_"I did…" Wally replied in that tone. She tried to not groan._

_"He didn't answer?" she asked. That was the worst possibility so she simply jumped to it quickly. Just get it over with._

_"No…well, not the first few times…"_

_"He answered?"_

_"Yesterday…said he had something to do…"_

_"If there weren't a funeral to attend, I'd be killing him right now."_

_"I know…I'm there too."_

_The group was readying to go, Batman dodging J'onn as usual and Superman helping him duck the questions. Connor was in the Super-cycle with Wolf and Cassie. The rest of the Team, were in the Bio-ship with M'Gann. Zatanna and Rocket were flying in with the adults though since they'd joined the League a year or so ago. Artemis and Wally were in their uniforms like everyone else._

_Everyone who need to were using stealth-tech as well as the black mourning bands on their upper arms. Those who already wore fairly dark colors simply added the band on their right arms. La'gaan was in an Atlantean funeral robe of sorts since his uniform wasn't exactly the greatest in the way of modesty._

_Everything was going smoothly even up to when they arrived at the scene. Batman had taken his long nosed car. He'd even left early to make sure he got there before anyone else – and to duck J'onn's questions. M'Gann had spotted his car easily enough; along with the _three_ cycles parked near it._

_They'd landed and Connor was automatically on guard when he spotted the boy in the long sleeved Robin uniform. His hair and face were different, his voice was strange, and he was too short. There was a girl as well with a bat-cowl over her face and vivid red hair that she was tying back into a bun with black ribbon. Batman seemed completely at ease with them all though._

_So did the last boy who was the right size for their Robin. His uniform was wrong though._

_The three were all wearing the mourning bands on their upper right arms though, the girl whispering to the shorter boy to ask if he knew who they were mourning. He shook his head and then asked Batman._

_"A teammate of his," Batman said, jerking his head towards the taller boy in black with a blue hawk-like shape on his chest._

_"What was her name?" the girl asked gently._

_"Aquagirl," he said in Robin's familiar voice. Superman cleared his throat, the four jerking to attention, the girl and shorter boy a bit flustered for Bat-kids._

_Superman looked at the taller boy. "Glad to see you've made up your mind Robin." The Team blinked in confusion and amazement._

_"He's Robin," he said, pointing to the shorter boy. "Has been since I turned fifteen." Artemis' heart sank, her mouth dry. That was why he'd been gone so much? That was why he'd been so begrudging about wearing the Robin uniform again for that mission?_

_"Have you come up with a name yet?" Flash asked, the black band on his red arm extremely noticeable. The young man nodded._

_"My name's Nightwing now."_

"Did he answer or not?" Kaldur asked.

"Didn't…Robin was the one who picked up. I asked if he'd seen his brother and only got a shifty type of answer," Wally explained. "Something about a case?" He shrugged in disbelief.

"That could mean many things," Kaldur sighed, helping Artemis shift La'gaan a bit to get his head cushioned on a pillow that was nearby. Thank god for pack rats that left their things relatively unguarded.

"You remember that thing with the car chase last time we were all here?" Wally asked.

Artemis nodded as she stood, eyes a bit worried.

"The aggravated assault?" Kaldur said his voice misty as he pulled from his memories. Wally nodded, swallowing thickly. "What's happened?"

"The guy he chased down was just a car-jacker who had the bad luck to find a coat covered in blood in the same area as the assault and near the same time it was called in."

Kaldur was frowning. Artemis closed her eyes.

"Is the girl…" she began.

"She's dead," Wally said. "Straight from Robin…the girl died after another surgery that came up after she had a complication. No one's sure what happened either apparently."

_Figures._

"Nightwing's apparently killing himself trying to find the right guy," Wally sighed.

"That could be why he wasn't pulling his punches," Kaldur murmured. Artemis pursed her lips, understanding perfectly what he was saying.

Nightwing was turning into Batman.

_"I'm not him," fifteen-year-old Robin snarled at Wonder Girl who'd just said he was as crazy as Batman. Wonder Woman's head had snapped up when she heard the young man's tone. "I'm not him. Take it back."_

_"Robin," she warned. "Don't start something you cannot finish."_

_"Then tell your student to watch her mouth," he returned in as dark a voice as only Batman himself could make. It made Wonder Woman stare at him in disbelief. He walked away before Kaldur could stop him._

Tears were stinging her eyes again.

"So much for him swearing up and down he'd never turn into Batman," she muttered a bit bitter at what she was hearing. It wasn't enough that she'd been forced to help torture a friend but now another was beginning to sink into his teacher's ways at a faster pace than anyone had thought possible weeks ago.

"…Did he ask why you wanted to speak to Nightwing?" Kaldur asked after a moment.

"I told him I just wanted to hang out with my friend," Wally sighed. "I think he bought it."

Artemis doubted it but she and Kaldur were skating on thin ice already so she felt a little less precarious with Wally on the ice with them. If Nightwing joined them then it'd be pretty damned interesting pretty damned quick. That was unlikely on a good day though.

Then again…Nightwing wasn't having a good _month _at the moment.

The three jumped when they heard La'gaan let out a groan, shifting a bit as he did. Wally sighed and pulled out a communicator that Artemis recognized as his old one. It was still broad band enough that La'gaan would be able to call anyone he wanted in the League or in the Team.

"It is time to leave," Kaldur stated.

"Yeah…" Artemis mumbled. Kaldur nodded and moved back to the ship as she looked at Wally longingly. "Wally…Look, I…" She couldn't form the sentence. She didn't have to.

Wally's lips met hers, his arms pulling her close. They played tonsil hockey for a breathless moment until they had to surface for much needed air.

"Words are superfluous," he said.

She pressed her lips to his again for a chaste kiss before she had to push herself away and return to the flyer.

The last thing she saw of him was him waving good-bye from the roof top as they slid under the water surface. She lifted a hand and gave a weak, sad, lonely wave in return. She didn't need super powered vision to know that he was probably crying.

"Artemis…" Kaldur whispered gently. "You're crying."

"Am not."

She swiped the dampness from her cheeks.

She sniffed.

Kaldur pulled her into a hug.

She sobbed.

She was cold.

She was withering. Her fire was dimming again.

She feared for him.

She feared for the water holding her together.

She feared for their scouting hawk and his sanity.

She feared for them all.

The water went dark. Her heart froze over again. Her features schooled themselves. Kaldur released her shoulders. He schooled his emotions back into their cage.

The water was cold. The water was dark. She couldn't see her fire or their favorite bird until they shown their own light on the mantas down here.


	4. Nightwing

Levels of Sick: Nightwing

The banquet was going well until something basically blew the place up.

Dick felt the pain of the pillar falling on his leg after he shoved a guest out of the way. The girl was really a friend who dated back to Junior High. She was one who even Barbara and Tim didn't know because of her mother's past with Bruce. It was a faraway past and Bruce had known for a fact that the girl couldn't be his. The two of them were like brother and sister in some respects but they were really only very close friends.

She didn't know about him though. Her mother didn't know about Bruce because they'd parted ways when he'd gone to train, to find himself. When he'd come back, her mother had said hello, hugged him, pecked his cheek, and then they went on about their lives.

She was his age. She was beautiful in physical ways and personality terms. She was the one who made sure there were flowers on his parents' graves when even Alfred was too busy.

He'd been talking to her when the ground shook for a second, his ears suddenly screaming in pain. Glass shattered everywhere. He saw Silver Banshee hanging over the lawns take a breath. Her head aimed towards where he was, to shatter the cases and displays before him. He shoved his friend out of the way, yelling 'run' before his ears screamed again.

He woke up in the hospital with his leg in a cast, his head screaming, and his ears ringing.

He played cute when Tim told him everything was gone. He knew Bruce was going to be irritated with him for losing a friend's collection of antiques but Batgirl and Robin assured that they'd get the stuff back.

He hadn't minded seeing Connor in farm gear again having not seen him in it for a year and half at the absolute least.

_"Connor!" Clark called in his Metropolis suit at the little farm house. The teenaged version of him was on the roof, fixing something._

_"Hey!" Connor called with a smile, farm clothes almost falling over his shoulders. They were probably Clark's from his late high school days. Clark made a hand signal and then called up at him to be careful coming down._

_Bruce stepped out of the car, thirteen-year-old Dick following. It was Roof Fixing Season in Smallville apparently. That season was equivalent to the Rainy Season or Spring Melt Season._

_"Who're they?" Connor asked, gently._

_"Connor, this is Bruce Wayne and his foster son Richard Grayson," Clark said. "I swear Bruce, I meant in to introduce the boys much sooner than this but they both have school and you and I have work…" He gave a smile._

_Bruce shook his head and waved dismissively._

_"It's just nice to meet the brother Clark's been talking about," Bruce said._

_"Hey," Dick said with a smile. Connor nodded at him in an almost shy manner._

_"Shake hands boys," Clark urged. They did. Connor's eyes met Dick's and they smiled at each other._

_"Good…Now…Bruce, you wanted to have some of that pie my mother makes right?" Clark beamed,_

_"Hence the trip from Gotham," Bruce jeered._

_"How'd your father make friends with my brother?" Connor asked casually, curiosity in his voice as they followed the grown men into the house slowly._

_"Your brother did a piece in Gotham with Lois Lane, his co-worker. Bruce swept her off her feet. It's been an understanding friendship to say the very least…Especially after Bruce took me in."_

_"Sounds cool…glad to have him as a friend?"_

_"…Very much so…I hope we can be as good of friends as they are."_

_Shocked blue met calm blue._

_"Me too."_

He didn't really like Wally giving him crap again though.

"You know…Connor's right that you look like hell," Wally said softly as soon as the two turned the corner.

"Thanks a shit ton," Dick sighed. He was so glad Connor had offered to get Tim some meaningful food. Connor had some pretty damn good timing at points.

Wally was giving him a surprised look. Was it at his sarcastic tone or the fact that he wasn't acting drugged anymore?

"I'm just saying," Wally shrugged trying to sound nonchalant.

He didn't have time to play anywhere near stupid right now.

"Make sure you show up at the Cave in a few weeks…"

"Why?"

He pulled up his personal Bat-glare. He didn't know what his unprotected eyes looked like but something in them made Wally go pale. The speedster looked like a kicked puppy. He'd seen that look before, on Clark when he'd said the wrong thing and Bruce made him feel small without saying anything. He began to understand why Bruce always smiled after he did that.

"You haven't expressed your feelings about Artemis yet," Nightwing said levelly. He didn't wait for Wally to leave before turning his eyes back to the window. A silent dismissal was all he wanted to do at that moment.

He had to plan an act after all.

* * *

He could have strangled Wally when he walked into the cave. He didn't look ready to try to pull this off at all.

As usual for a spar practice, the Cave was filled with cheers, jeers, and the grunts of the sparing partners. It was Connor versus Cassie, both working on hand-to-hand combat moves. M'Gann was with Garfield. Mal was with Karen. Babs and Tim were running interference on the pointers that were being shot out, trying to keep them to a minimum while they also called out their own.

Over the roar of teenagers, Nightwing barely heard the computer announce him but he'd been watching the tube for ages, his bum leg keeping him against a wall most of the day. He saw Wally's eyes fall on his brace and the urge to strangle him blossomed.

_Don't you dare falter now Wally_, he thought. _Don't you fucking dare._

M'Gann tilted her head to look at Wally, smiling a sympathetic smile. They shared a mission in which they'd lost someone they loved. Since she had limited information, Wally was worse off than she was. Wally jerked his chin in acknowledgement before moving towards Nightwing.

"Didn't see you at Wayne Manor," Wally said softly, casually. Nightwing heard something bitter in there too. He was suddenly proud of his friend.

"I had something to do," he said, making his voice careful and wary. He could _see_ Connor's ears twitch, his shoulder flick.

"Kind of important?"

"Yes."

"Well…So glad you're so detail oriented," Wally hissed softly. Connor's eyes slipped over to them. Yep…Connor had gotten a little more protective of his surrogate family members over the past five years. There was no doubt in Nightwing's mind now.

Plus, he was proud that Wally was getting this crap off his chest, making it believable. It's no easy feat to bring up feelings you don't have. After all, Artemis wasn't really dead so Wally couldn't quite understand the feeling of pure, agonizing loss. Nightwing had lost loved ones before and had had to be the bearer of bad news. He'd even been the one to stop the fights.

He knew all the lines to each part.

All he had to do was pull up his memories of Tula and his lines fell into place. he'd been building these feeling ups for days, piling other instances where he'd had to listen to bad news be given to make it feel more…realistic. It'd been two months or so since they'd 'killed' Artemis after all. He'd come back from Wally's without a single scratch. All he'd said was that Wally had been in denial and had ordered him to leave.

_"Bruce…"_

_No answer from the man. He sat at the computer, staring up at the faces of the missing women he couldn't find. Beating himself up because one had shown up; dead, throat slashed, raped, branded. He'd told him to leave._

_"Dad…It's not your fault."_

_"Get. Out."_

_"But Dad…"_

_A hand snapped out of nowhere. His cheek burned. His eyes stung. His father was glaring before his eyes softened, realization filtering through._

_"Oh Dick…I'm so sorry…" He looked like he meant it. Dick believed him. He reached out. Dick flinched away, head shaking. "Dick…"_

_Dick backed away, his father's eyes filling with shame and disgust at himself for his actions. Bruce let him run away._

"What're you saying?" Nightwing asked his voice unsure and scared.

"All the trouble you go through and you didn't even bother to think what Kaldur'ahm night be willing to do?"

He'd used Kaldur's full name too. Good. Very disassociating.

"After the Kroleteans?"

Even better, bringing up a past sin; especially one so irrefutable. He was making a case on limited evidence, making it seem that Nightwing had told him not only that Artemis was dead but who killed her as well. He was making it seem like Nightwing had _known_ Kaldur would be there when he hadn't, couldn't have, but had called _her_ in despite her wanting to leave the life. A grieving mind can come up with many stories, scenarios.

"Did you think he was _above_ killing old teammates because he killed a few aliens?"

Nightwing wanted to applaud him for keeping his voice low and soft while he spoke. Nightwing could see that Tim had picked up on the hostility that Jaime and Mal and Karen – who were _right in front of them _– hadn't and was moving to his brother's side. He felt Tim's worry for him – he'd feel it anywhere by now – and saw the suspicion in Connor's eyes.

All without moving a muscle, his eyes doing all the work behind the sunglasses.

Cassie swung and missed, Connor situating himself to keep an eye as well as an ear on Wally and Nightwing. Cheering still surrounded them. Wally was waiting for a cue.

Nightwing was happy to oblige, pulling from having to try to explain Tula to Kaldur as well as Aquaman. For some reason, his tone didn't surprise him.

"…Wally…I'm sorry," he said, his voice cracking with grief, anguish, pain. There was a sting in his head; M'Gann finally coming in. he'd known that smile had more to it than sympathy. "…I did everything…everything I could do to…"

_"I…I…I did everything…absolutely everything I could to…to…"_

_Aquaman stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. He felt small again. He was fucking fifteen! He didn't want to feel like he was ten again._

_"I know…" Aquaman said as Kaldur sank into a chair, a hand rising to his mouth as his eyes spoke volumes of his disbelief. "I know you did."_

He hung his head. He could almost hear his brother's footsteps. He heard the cheers fall to groans of disappointment. He let his eyes assess what they could through peripherals before he raised his head with a deep breath.

He'd waited for Wally to form a fist.

_"I'm…I'm sorry…Kaldur," he said._

"I'm so…so sorry Wally."

_Kaldur stared at him for a second before suddenly, his fist shot out of fucking nowhere. Dick's eyes widened as fast as it took Flash to catch the fist and shove Kaldur away._

His head snapped to the side. His leg refused to help hold him. His leaning against the wall hadn't helped.

"Nightwing!" Tim yelped as Connor bellowed something along the lines of "Son of a bitch!"

Tim's hands were on him in a second, blood falling from a split lip onto his black uniform. His sunglasses managed to stay where they'd belonged at least. He glanced up to find Connor holding Wally against the wall, the latter looking a bit satisfied with himself. He'd been waiting for a stress relief after all.

"What the hell are you _doing_ KF?" Connor bellowed.

There was a flash in his deep blue eyes. Retribution. Nightwing was family. Wally was family. Kaldur was family. Family isn't supposed to attack family. Kaldur turned traitor though. He even 'killed' Artemis. Wally hitting Nightwing – when he had a brace on the same leg Dick had gotten broken no less – was a last straw type of thing.

Connor, the five-year-old trapped in a temperamental sixteen-year-old form, was never going to let this go unless one of his older siblings talked him into letting it go.

"Nightwing, you okay?" Tim asked, helping him back into a straighter sitting position.

Babs fluttered over to them, her cape falling around them all like a blanket. He tried to ignore the fact that she was technically between his legs, his braced one stuck straight while his left was bent up to near his chest. His brother was near him but Babs' hands were delicately checking the split lip.

Cassie was looking on in horror and surprise. Karen's hands were flashing with sparks. Mal was trying to calm her. Garfield was huddling up to M'Gann. _She_ looked like they had all lost their fucking minds. She was probably right.

"Let go of me!" Wally yelled, struggling against Connor futilely. Connor's glare darkened. Nightwing grunted as he pulled himself up shakily. He ignored Tim and Babs trying to stop him and placed a hand on Connor's wrist.

"Let go Connor."

"Are you kidding me?" the clone bellowed. "He just punched you!"

"I had it coming."

_"What're you thinking?" Flash cried._

_"Wait…" Robin was trying._

_"No," Flash said firmly as Batman pulled his son back. Clark was gently holding Flash back while Aquaman held his apprentice's shoulders down. "I notice he's upset but that's no reason to take it out on a teammate!"_

"Artemis died on my watch; I promised him I'd look out for her."

_"But…she died on my watch…I was on point…I was responsible…"_

_"Knock it off Robin," Clark growled. "Flash is right. Kaldur, you can't just take it out on the messenger."_

"I failed, he's pissed, he's venting. Drop him."

"Nightwing," Jaime growled softly. "At least let us rough him up a bit; just a little."

_That's just great._

"You're listening to that Scarab aren't you?" Connor said with a sneer. Jaime nodded. "I think I agree with it."

"Drop him!" Nightwing ordered. No reason to let this go too far. He even used his unquestionable tone. He didn't need to look at his brother and Babs to know they flinched. He could swear that he sounded like Batman.

Silence.

Connor let Wally down.

"Fuckin' nut balls," Wally growled before shooting away.

"You sure that's a smart idea?" Impulse asked. He'd been inducted in a week or so ago. "I mean…he looked really moded."

"It's fine…" Dick sighed. He wasn't playing Nightwing now. "As I said…I had it coming."

* * *

His doctor was going to be yelling at him soon.

He was sure about it. The brace had been irritating him beyond belief and besides, he had a meet up with Kaldur, Artemis, and Wally that night. He could limp around for a few minutes. No problem; especially if he got there before the others.

Then the phone had rung and he'd found himself talking to his friend while doing a street based patrol on his cycle. He'd stopped in a safer area to talk to her. She was saying thanks for pushing her out of the way and that she was sorry she hadn't been able to visit him. He was fine with it; they both had busy lives. He'd never really expected her to be able to considering he'd gotten himself discharged early – and against medical advice.

He'd had to cut her off when he realized it was getting late and he still had a patrol to do.

He was about to leave for Blüdhaven, irritated at himself for going so slowly thanks to having to stop to rub knots out of his leg every so often, when a car chase sped past him and he diverted to hop in. He hadn't really paid attention to the calls that had come through the radio. Possible homicide turned aggravated assault. He was actually more willing to let Babs and Tim take care of it.

Then Gordon came through on the private lines.

"Nightwing…I know you can hear me. I can see your bike; I'd know it anywhere…Please listen to me carefully…I'm sure you've heard the scanner calls." Yeah…he just hadn't really paid attention to the addresses. Probably not a good idea but he was late and this guy was heading to Blüdhaven. "The girl who was beaten…she's being rushed to the hospital as I speak…we think this guy is her attacker."

His hand revved the bike faster. He left them in the dust as they crossed into Blüdhaven.

The crap car died. The man ran. He tossed titanium infused ropes with weighted balls at him and damn near howled with pride when the man thudded to the pier.

He'd waved, greeted, talked to Kaldur, Artemis, and Wally. His mood was light. He felt elated. A good chase, a good thrill always made him feel lighter than he was; even when injured. Especially when injured. He was glad there were no hard feelings for the act he'd forced Wally into either.

He was more than happy to drag the poor bastard home with him oddly enough considering his mood.

Gordon gave him an appreciative nod before he raced back to the cave. His leg was beginning to hurt again.

* * *

He was back in the hospital.

The brace was on, he was leaning on and off the crutches they had at the ready at home – one of multiple pairs really but who was counting? He was in civilian clothes, the shades hidden in the pocket of his loose hoodie. He'd packed light for this trip. Alfred wasn't expecting him to stay.

He was probably going to though.

_1043 South Dixon Street_, he thought bitterly. Her address. Her home. Her dorm-slash-apartment. How many times had he told her it was a crap housing building? How many times had he asked, begged, pleaded with her to move back onto campus? How many times had she simply smiled at him saying she'd be fine, that she could take care of herself?

Why had he _ever_ believed her?

She had no training. She had nothing but her natural human instincts. All she could do was kick aimlessly, claw, scratch, scream, slap, run. She hadn't even been able to do those simple things. She wasn't able to do anything to really protect herself. Maybe if she had keys between her fingers? Maybe if she carried a baseball bat? Maybe if she'd had a frying pan?

So many maybes to think about.

None of it changed the situation.

He could think this over a thousand times and he'd still find himself standing, balancing there near the ICU hallway. His blue eyes would still be fixed on the clear wall before him where she lay. He'd still be seeing a tube down her throat, sticking out of her mouth to connect to the machines like a strange worm. He'd still be seeing her with bandages over her arms, legs, head, neck, cheek, and possibly other places that even the hospital gowns hid from the world.

He'd still be near her mother who was crying her icy blue eyes out behind light, brunette hair. She hadn't slept since she'd gotten the call. He hadn't slept since Gordon called back on the private line to say they'd been wrong.

He hadn't even gotten the right guy. He'd gotten some poor schmuck who'd had the bad luck of finding a coat covered in blood – hers – and was caught carjacking in it. He'd been running for the theft. That was he motive. That was it.

He'd caught the wrong one.

Cira looked up at him, her pale skin mirroring the absent look in her icy blue eyes. Her name meant 'sun' but she wasn't very radiant at the moment. She was Italian-American who had found her way out of the harder parts of Gotham. She'd gotten up to almost Wayne Family Rich or a few levels under it. She'd married up only to have him be killed in a random mugging. Then she married down to a wife beater who gave her the best thing in her entire life; her daughter.

Batman had been the one to bust the, then, ex-husband when he'd tried to kidnap seven-year-old Muriel because he was one of those fathers.

Muriel. "Shining sea". Age eighteen, about five-foot-six. Fair skinned with wavy chestnut – almost auburn – hair that she'd had to cut short when she found it getting out of control. Shining green eyes peeked over freckles and past her bangs that she kept a bit long. She was shy at first blush but outgoing and friendly once one knew her.

She was as close to water as fire.

Why her mother had chosen a Celtic name over an Italian one was beyond him.

"God…" Cira sighed. "I…I didn't hear you come over Dick…Oh honey? What happened to you?"

"It's…not as bad as your situation…" he mumbled as he juggled the crutches to sit next to her. She'd never been a very big woman in terms of weight but she was fairly skinnier than he remembered. "I've had…much worse….When I was in the circus that is."

She nodded, sniffing and rolling her lips into her mouth. She wasn't wearing make-up. Probably a later choice after she'd started crying when she'd heard. Someone probably gave her something to clean her face once it had started smudging.

His blue eyes fell on the girl he'd known for years again.

"God…" he breathed shakily, his voice wavering as he raised a shaking hand to his mouth. His eyes had to be shining with tears. "I talked to her just last night."

Gordon had already asked what they'd talked about. School, whether he was okay after the incident – which had already been fixed by the Team with the help of sonic blocking earpieces – and how she was doing.

"I heard…"

She broke down again. Dick wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to his shoulder. It was what Bruce would have done. It was also all he could do for her.

For now.

* * *

Black Manta just _had_ to send a scouting mission out didn't he?

Cira had bad timing too though. She'd called while they were in the air, Roy and Connor giving him weird looks from their seats in the Super-cycle and Beast Boy fluttered past as a bird with a far too human look in his eyes.

_"Hey…No…I'm in a windy place," he explained. "What? Say again?" Silence. "Thank you…No, I'll be there as soon as I can…yeah…Bye."_

_"What's wrong?" Roy yelled over the wind, Beast Boy managing to land on the seat between them – Sphere fixing the crunching by changing her shape slightly._

_"Nothing…Just some bad news is all…"_

He saw Kaldur and Artemis. He pulled Roy aside once he whispered to Connor to take Beast Boy, Wolf, and Sphere against the little battalion.

Fuck holding back. He had no time to hold back. Besides, as soon as Roy saw Kaldur, it was obvious that he remembered what they'd ended up telling him and Jade when they'd seen them together…with a child. Green Arrow was understandably flustered about being a foster grandfather already but no one really listened to him.

Neither one had to tell the other that one of them was going to go too far.

He'd started with banter. He really had. He'd tried to stay normal. Then Cira's voice started to filter back as Artemis gracefully ducked and attacked Roy. All he saw was Muriel in a summer dress on one of their movie nights, spinning with a smile on her soft face.

He'd just muttered 'fuck it' and attacked. They'd chalk it up to losing Artemis. They'd say he was having one of his Batman Moods. That was what he'd say. Roy would have to play along. Connor…well, he'd put Connor ten to fifteen feet away with a genetically engineered wolf, a shapeshifter, and an intelligent sphere against trained men.

Water tried to fill his lungs. He felt a fist slam on his chest. He was coughing. Roy was yelling. Artemis was jeering back. Kaldur laughed cruelly. Something wasn't connecting anymore and Nightwing was in Gotham again, against someone who wanted to kill him.

Roy told him to stand down. He charged. They were tossed. He yelled.

Kaldur was gone.

* * *

"I'm heading into the building now Cira…It's nothing…I just overdid my exercises is all…No Cira; my leg is fine, I know my limits," Dick was saying as he pushed his way into Gotham General Hospital. He'd practically run from the Cave to home to there to make it in time. Cira had been hysterical that morning after all. He couldn't simply not show up and be by her side in this now could he?

Even if he'd over done it with Kaldur on a shitty leg, he wasn't going to miss this.

He passed his doctor who gave him a look that he'd come to expect no matter what the situation. He'd get a skinned knee or elbow in between serious injuries and he'd expect the look of worry and irritation. '_What'd you get yourself into_ this _time?_' was what it said and his family, his doctor, and some of his friends on the Team had coined the look.

This doctor however, had coined it earlier; not as early as Alfred but pretty damned close. There were understandable reasons as to why the men of Wayne Manor were a bit scared of this woman.

"How's the leg?" she asked, sliding to move beside him as he walked, rushed to the ICU. Maybe Cira was there and not where she was saying she was going to be? Fucking Optimism.

"I'm exercising it," he said, his teeth almost clenching.

"I see that…are you letting it get some rest too?"

"…Yes."

"Please don't lie to me."

"Look, Doc," he said with a forced smile as he slid to a halt. She did the same, her lab coat floating for a second thanks to the abrupt stop. "I have a friend whose mother called and said she'd just had a complication and is going back into surgery. Her mother's freaking out and since Dad's out of town on business, I'm the only one who knows what's going on. With all due respect…leave me alone?"

He walked off before she could say anything more. He'd get an earful later. Right now, he didn't really give much of a damn.

_"Alright…as nice as it is to know that I'm not the only one pissed off about Artemis," Roy muttered, his voice betraying his slight horror as Connor guided the Super-cycle home, "I can't believe you! Are you_ trying _to get yourself killed?"_

_"…Connor, can Sphere go a bit faster? My ID had to be somewhere."_

_"…Sure…"_

_"Damn it Nightwing," Roy growled. Beast Boy glanced up from his seat with Wolf. "You must be losing your mind charging Kaldur like that; with or without the shit leg! It's one thing if I'm going off a deep end; _I'm _not the leader of a team!_ You _are!"_

_"Thanks for pointing that out Roy…I'll take it under fucking advisement."_

"Cira!" he called, waving at the woman who looked like an island in a sea of people. Her eyes were wide and her cheeks sunken like she hadn't been eating for months. He quickly chalked it up to sleep deprivation and stress as he limped up to her side.

God his leg was singing bloody murder.

"Sorry," he said. "I had something to do with other friends that went a little longer than I expected and…" She raised a hand to his mouth, her fingertips touching his lips gently. She shook her head with a sweet, understanding, motherly smile.

"It's alright," she said, her voice weak. "You're here now; that's what matters."

"Where is she?"

"…In surgery," she said, her voice wavering. She had a hand on his upper arm, her free hand fanning the air, rotating at the wrist as she tried to not cry. "They…They wouldn't tell me what went wrong…I…I…"

He guided her to a seat and pulled her into a hug. It took a little time for her to stop crying again and when she did, he turned his phone off.

He'd more than likely rip off the head of anyone who called him right now.

* * *

"RECOGNIZED, NIGHTWING, B01," the computer called loudly.

_No shit Sherlock_, he thought as he strode into the main hall.

Just how many times had Tim called him yesterday exactly? How many times had Barbara called? How many messages had they left? He'd lost count, his phone almost doing the same. All he knew was he'd almost turned it off again when all it did was chime at him to say he had missed calls and new voicemails.

His ears picked up the sound of his teammates in the recreation area. They all sounded happy and giddy. His hands clenched into transparent-knuckle-fists and he began to storm towards them. He picked up Tim's voice and Babs' laugh through the murk of other voices. He saw Connor leaning against the door frame with one foot against the wall and his arms cross over his large chest. Wolf was curled at his side, ears twitching in either irritation or pleasurable sleep.

Connor's blue eyes slid up to his masked ones and Nightwing caught the faintest of smiles grace his lips. What'd made him so grudgingly happy?

"How'd you even get out?" Cassie gushed, her feet not touching the ground and her face split in a gleeful smile.

"I…really have no idea," La'gaan's voice said bashfully. Nightwing's heart went into his throat and he jerked to a stop. Connor snorted silently and shook his head at him, his eyes translating his complete and heartfelt understanding.

Nightwing ducked his head into the room to find the Team – past and present save for Wally and Roy – Canary and Red Tornado crowded in the small area around La'gaan. The green Atlantean looked worse for wear, his right arm strapped to his torso, his jaw bruised, his visible wrist bruised, and a few scratches and cuts on his arms and legs.

But he was whole. He was alive.

"Nightwing!" M'Gann called, her voice bubbling with joy. "Look who's back!"

He wanted to be nice. He really did. But he couldn't.

"…Have you told him about Artemis yet?"

Their faces fell, La'gaan giving them all a confused look. Nightwing walked away, Connor's blue eyes burning on his back.

* * *

Martin Specks was running as fast as he could and it wasn't making much of a difference either fucking way. Nightwing was on his ass and that was where he would be staying until he caught the lousy bastard and dragged him to Gordon's doorstep in cuffs.

Specks was a typical lowlife. He'd been arrested on suspicion of assault, suspicion of possession and intent to sell, and also for peeping into women's bedrooms, baths, and so on and so forth. He was barely worth Robin's time let alone Batman's. However, he'd managed to catch Nightwing's attention and so therefore he was running from the shadow following him from the rooftops of Gotham.

They were nearing the Burrows. Not many places to go around there; at least, not many Nightwing didn't already know of.

Specks wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed to say the very fucking least. However, he wasn't the dullest either. He had enough brains to be able to take care of himself and enough to get him in and out of trouble. He was a deceptively strong son of a bitch too, his baggy clothes and loose sweaters hiding his sinewy frame. He was lean but he was in no way a weakling.

Nightwing had felt his punch already and he wasn't about to let the man get about hit in if he could help it.

He 'flew' over an alleyway, landing and dropping into a recovery roll seamlessly before shooting off again. All the while, his eyes were trained on not only his obstacles but also his target. Years of training, of learning on the job were flowing through him at that exact moment and he instinctively knew what to do.

His hand acted as a brace for him to kick off the roof to leap over pipes and air conditioning units that probably didn't work anyway. He'd run this course a million times. He knew all the twists and turns, all the new detours, all the old ones. He knew the feeling of the feel of the concrete and cement under his boots like he knew himself. Better actually. He was never sure of himself.

Specks was looking over his shoulder again. Like he'd ever see him.

Then, Specks saw an opportunity. A car, the owner getting out carefully and warily. He bolted for it, tossed the poor idiot away – slipping the keys into his hand as he did – and hopped into the car. The engine revved and the car squealed out of the alley.

_Like that's going to stop me_, Nightwing thought dangerously. He called his bike and continued to run after the car. It couldn't go all that fast; even in the Burrows. Besides, Specks was leaving a very clear path of destruction in his wake, trashcans, carts, scared people all scattering as he came barreling through. He'd be easy to follow; even on foot.

The bike came screaming up the road, tracking his movements. He shot a grappling hook to a building and launched himself off his rooftop. In seconds, the bike was just in front of him and he was angling himself to land on it comfortably with ease. The line snapped back to the launcher in his hand and he stowed it, throwing on his helmet as soon as it slipped into the holster.

Specks was still just in front of him.

He was racing out of Gotham.

Nightwing wasn't letting him leave. Not this time.

He had to understand the weight of his actions after all and Nightwing was going to teach him.

They were on Main Street, when Nightwing shot out some Batarangs, taking out Specks' tires. The car swerved, mounted a corner and slammed into a lamp post. Nightwing slowed up a bit and watched Specks clamber out of the car and try to run again. People backed away from him like he was a leper, like he was plagued with something they didn't want to catch. Then again, when someone was running away from an accident with a Gotham Knight following them, normal people quickly caught onto the implications and got the hell out of the way.

Thank god.

Specks was half way down the street when Nightwing had his collapsible, shatterproof escrima stick snapped out to full length. He revved his bike in place, letting it get up to a speed he wanted. Specks got another block before Nightwing let his bike shoot off, steering one handed.

He'd been pretty damned good at polo after all.

He swung the stick at Specks' knees, knocking them out from under the man easily, quickly. He nearly had to lay the bike on its side, his kneepad scrapping against asphalt as he did, to turn it around. Specks was gasping for the air that'd been knocked out of him when Nightwing wing rolled to a stop next to him, escrima stick pressing on his sternum.

"Hello Specks," Nightwing snarled behind the helmet. "I believe you had an appointment with the Commissioner a few days ago. Shall I take you there now?"

Before Specks could say anything, he'd cuffed him to a light pole, called Commissioner Gordon, and left.

* * *

Wally had called. Said they needed to talk. Gave him a rooftop to come to.

He was looking down on Gordon and Bullock collecting Specks, his friend sitting on the rooftop ledge, his feet dangling in the air that ruffled his vivid red hair a bit.

"Feeling better?" Wally asked. "Or was that not the right guy?"

_So he's been following up on me_, Nightwing thought. _Tim mentioned he'd called at one point in a voicemail._

"That's the guy…I've triple checked this time," Nightwing said as he came to stand on Wally's right.

He kept some space between them, still wary about his body, his mind. He wasn't sure what he might do if Wally said the wrong thing; accidentally or purposefully. Nightwing didn't trust himself not to react violently.

_Was this what Bruce felt like all those times I tried to tell him he wasn't in the wrong; that he'd done everything he could?_

"…I heard about the girl Dick."

_Fuck_.

"…I'm sorry."

"…How's it feel?"

"How does what feel?"

"Saying something so fucking pointless."

Wally gave him a saddened look. "It may be pointless but it's all one _can_ say right? You said that once upon a time."

_Yeah…before I actually had to say it myself. It may be all one can say but it's still fucking pointless to say it_, Nightwing thought bitterly, refusing to look at his friend. He didn't trust himself.

Right then, he wanted more than anything to run away, back to his father's side, for some reason. He wanted that cape to be wrapped around him like a cloak, like a security blanket. He wanted to hear that warm voice again. He wanted to know he'd done right even though he'd lost someone…again.

"Nightwing? You okay?"

Wally's voice was distant, soft.

Damn.

He was shutting down.

Again.

"Nightwing!"

His knees hit the rooftop, his arms hugging around his suddenly cold body. He barely felt Wally take his shoulders and shake him.

"Nightwing…hey, you're freaking me out here! Snap out of it!"

Two years. He'd made two years. A record.

"Dick! Wake up!"

"Huh? Wally?"

"Damn it! You scared the shit out of me!" Wally yelled, his voice becoming clearer. "I've never seen you shut down like that before…what the hell?"

"Sorry…just…remembering two years ago."

_"No more being 'Robin'. No more."_

_"My name's Nightwing now."_

"You…okay?"

Was he? He hadn't had a shut down like that in years. Not since his parents died. Not since Bruce introduced him to Cira and Muriel. Not since he'd found himself happy again with a distraction as Robin. Not since…not since Tula died.

_"A friend of mine died recently…"_

_Muriel stared at him in horror._

_"What?" he asked._

_"What're you doing here then?" she screeched. She never screeched. She was always calm or scared of rejection. She never yelled. He was pleasantly surprised but he still had to flinch._

_"H-huh?"_

_She groaned, rolling her eyes and then raising her head to the sky as if to ask for patience with men like Diana._

_"Dick…you should be with your friend and their family. Not me! Go! Shoo! Grieve correctly!" She'd shoved him out of the garden and back to the mansion. "Mama! I forgot I had to do something! We have to go home now!"_

_Cira blinked and then gave an apologetic smile to Bruce. He blinked but gave an accepting wave and the two women disappeared._

_"The hell was that?" Bruce asked a bit flabbergasted. Tim, who was sitting on the stairs with a game in his hands could only shrug._

_"I…mentioned Tula's death," Dick murmured. Bruce gave him a look. "She's…ordered me to…grieve correctly."_

_Bruce sighed. "Her mother told me that too once…"_

No. He wasn't alright. He wasn't grieving correctly.

"Hey…Don't drift off on me again!" Wally snapped, snapping his fingers in Nightwing's face as he did. "…What's gotten into you? Kaldur and Artemis swore you weren't holding back last time you saw them. They're worried."

He glanced back to the, now, back-to-normal street below them.

"I know you've been killing yourself over a case recently but I've never seen you shut down over a case before."

_You haven't seen me on really bad cases though Wally. Now, you probably have an understanding as to_ why _you haven't seen me like that._

"A friend of mine died recently."

Silence enveloped them for a moment.

"When's the funeral?" Wally asked.

"Three days."

"I'll be there."

"Thanks…I appreciate it."

Wally nodded and they stood.

"You have something in your eye by the way," Wally said.

Nightwing whipped at his eyes. _Yeah…I do._

* * *

Tim was talking about La'gaan again in his overeager voice. He was…impressed by the escape that La'gaan had managed whilst unconscious, was impressed he even had an old Team communicator nearby, and was impressed that he didn't seem to be as bitter as Dick was.

The last part hurt a bit. Then again, Tim was always a bit blunt about the edges.

_It was maybe two weeks after his fifteenth birthday. He was still laid up from the injury – the only reason he'd made it to his party at the Cave was because he'd begged Bruce to let him at least show that he was alive since everyone knew he'd been on a mission._

_Wally had started calling already. Clark was freaking out. Every so often Canary would call, Diana right by her side, glaring at the vid screens to ask if what they were hearing and seeing was true._

_The media was known to overhype but good grief…they didn't have to say he was probably dead! Hell, Diana and Clark had no real reason to even be that freaked considering they'd fucking been there and seen that he was 'okay' in the weakest sense of the word. Though…Wally had plenty of reason to be using the 'You-were-injured-and-didn't-freaking-tell-me?' tone in his calls._

_Either way though, Bruce was getting fairly adamant on his statement that Dick was to stop being Robin and to move on with his 'normal' life. Of course, that was suggesting he'd ever have a normal life in his fifteen years. First he'd been a circus kid, then an orphan, then taken in by Gotham's shining son, and then Robin. _

_What the fuck was 'normal' exactly?_

_So, he was sitting in the Bat Cave trying to focus on his pre-calculus homework – he was a freaking junior in high school and he was taking pre-calculus – when the sound of the sub caught his attention. While he'd been laid up, he'd been forbidden to go to Mount Justice but he could go into the home cave – as long as he didn't overdo it with his injuries. His uniform and utility belt had been locked away too to avoid giving him temptation._

_He could look through the computer and the growing museum but with the injury, he couldn't really do anything other than that and homework. Well, he could try to help Batman from the computer but he'd keep getting shot down with things like 'Why aren't you doing your fucking homework?'_

_"He-hello?"_

_He had one of the free standing batarangs in his hand in a second._

_"N-no one's here…"_

_"No…someone is," Batman croaked out._

_"You brought a fucking guest?" Dick yelled from a hiding spot._

_"Had…to…"_

_"Who's there?" the new voice called, trying to sound brave._

_"It's…my son," Bruce croaked, the creak of him lifting himself out of a wet seat filling the cave. Dick glanced from his hiding place to see Batman with a new kid, both soaking wet._

_"The butler's dealing with you," Dick growled tossing the 'weapon' back to the table and moving towards the stairs to the mansion._

_"First," Bruce called up. "Help Timothy here get into some dry clothes."_

_"Timothy? You're on a first name basis?"_

_"He just helped me out and is in a somewhat similar situation as you were so…yes."_

_Dick stepped up to the ledge and glared down at them._

_"So…I can't be Robin anymore but you get another kid can?"_

_"Dick…"_

_"Fuck you."_

"Tim…Tim!" he yelled. Tim fell silent. "As nice as it is to hear of La'gaan's unexpected skills…stop."

Tim blushed a bit. "Sorry Dick but…come on, think about it! It's La'gaan! He's way under experienced in almost anything we freaking do!"

Dick knew that but he didn't really feel like listening to it all.

"Hey…how's the leg?" Tim asked. "Your 'friend from Smallville' has been calling, wondering how you are. Since I'm the one fielding your calls – with Alfred's help naturally – I'm the one who's been telling him that you're listening to doctor's orders." He gave a smile that Dick had a feeling he'd accidentally taught him.

"Fine…Why?"

"He's probably going to get a chance to visit again in a few days," Tim shrugged.

"Gah! I knew I was too friendly with him!"

"Connor needs an outlet besides the Team Dick…hell, the last thing he needs right now is to be stuck around the reunited couple."

Dick winced completely understanding the point of that statement. La'gaan and M'Gann had absolutely no idea how sickly sweet their puppy love was. Dick was seriously beginning to think part of the reason they were dating was partially because they were both green – at least when M'Gann was in her Green Martian form that is. Plus…Dick had a nagging feeling that she might have been abusing her powers.

"Are they still gushing cute sayings and nicknames?" Dick asked actually fearful of the idea.

"Yes…"

Dick groaned, leaning back in his chair a bit. His blue eyes fell on the clock and he sighed. He had to get ready for Muriel's funeral that was in six hours. Her mother had to be picked up, Wally was going to meet them there, and there was still the fact that he hadn't told Tim. Or Alfred.

"Hey…you remember Muriel?" Dick asked carefully.

"I…remember her telling you to 'grieve properly' for Tula, being inducted as Robin without the League knowing – going off the expressions at least – and then seeing her name in your contacts a few days later. Why?"

"Just…wondering if you remembered her considering you maybe only saw her a few times over the past couple years…"

"Dick," Tim said, drawing out his name as his tone showed his suspicion. "What're you not telling me?"

"You know that case I've been on?"

"The one you damn near ripped Babs and my heads off when we offer to help? The girl who was beaten up and died due to surgical complications…you caught the guy about three days ago right?"

"Yeah…"

"What's wrong?"

"The girl…She was Muriel…"

Tim's eyes were a comical size but the horror within them was about as tangible as the grief.

"Dick…how? Why didn't you tell me?" He was on his feet. "When's the funeral? I'm so going with you…Alfred should know too."

"Ease…up a bit," Dick said with a bit of surprise. _Good grief…Tim barely even knew her! I don't even want to think about how _Alfred's _going to take this_. "It's…today…Wally's going with me."

Tim stared at him. "You told Wally and not me?"

Dick blushed. "Wally…was kind of watching when I caught the guy…"

"Oh that's great…way for solidarity Bro."

"Wally's known me longer than you have 'Bro,'" he pointed out. Tim gaped at him then pouted.

"I'm telling Alfred and we'll be making sure you, at the very least, make it," he growled.

"Find a suit that fits Tim," Dick called after him.

"Yeah, yeah!"

* * *

Wally cleaned up nicely when he had to. So did Tim. Alfred…was Alfred _ever_ out of place?

Cira…she'd had much better days to be sure. Black was most certainly not her color either. Dark browns and beige maybe but not black. She looked pale in black, fragile, barely there. She'd clung to his arm as she sobbed, tripping over the grass as they walked from the church to her daughter's plot. Tim and Wally shadowed them while Alfred shadowed everyone the way he always did.

Closed casket.

It had to be closed.

Dick knew why. He'd seen why. The pictures he'd had to take of her body would be haunting his mind for a very long time coming.

_"Does it get to you sometimes?" Connor asked after a particularly bad mission. There'd been blood, loss of life, screaming. Connor still couldn't quite deal with it._

_Robin was going to be fourteen in two days. He'd seen a life time's worth of horror; more actually. Where Connor was new to it all, he was a seasoned soldier._

_"…Yes." Connor clenched his hand around the other fist, knuckles turning white._

_"How do you deal with it?"_

_"I…" How _did_ he deal with it? _Was_ he dealing with it? He couldn't tell. "I don't know if I can answer that the way you want to hear it Connor."_

_"Why not?"_

_"…Because I don't know the answer _I'd_ give _myself_."_

Cira didn't need to know what her daughter had suffered through. She'd never had to see past the bandages and Muriel had been found with identification nearby and handy. Plus, she was the only one who lived in the apartment. Forced entry on the door and the lease agreement was enough to make that very clear.

Specks had had a delusion that she'd wanted him, that she led him on, that she'd deserved the beating he'd given her. He'd put all the blame on Muriel for what he'd done. Dick had never thought one of those creeps – the kind that took a simple glance as a major flirting gesture – would ever lay eyes on one of his friends.

Now…Muriel was dead; her ribs broken, her jaw snapped out of place and put back, her eye socket crushed, her arms slashed, her legs bruised so bad she couldn't have walked for a week, and given internal bleeding. The surgeries hadn't really helped much either, cutting off her hair to get at the head injuries, wiring things back into place.

Cira didn't need to see that.

She was in enough pain already.

The service was nothing more than a blur to Dick; he'd seen so many funerals that he had no idea where one started and the next began anymore. All he could find himself remembering, thinking about was that time when he'd been young and stupid around Bruce.

_"Oh Dick…I'm so sorry…"_

He'd believed it. It'd still been pointless to say though; Bruce had scared him that time. Badly. Though, he was sure he'd scared the man far worse.

_"Robin…Robin…Dick! Come on, wake up!" _

_Shaking. Pain. Cold. Wet. _

_"Wake up…come on…open your eyes…" _

_More shaking. Something was wrapped around him. Warmth. Something cupping his chin._

_"Wake up…please…"_

_"Wake up…please…wake up…"_

_"Oh no…" Superman gasped. "No…"_

_"Wake up…Wake up…Wake up…Wake up…Wake up…Wake up…"_

_"What happened?" Diana, Wonder Woman, yelled. She sounded irritated, tired._

_"It's Robin," Clark said, his worry drowning out the silencing battle zone. Another hand was on his head. He was jerked away._

_"Don't…touch…him," Batman, Bruce, his father snarled, arms holding him close._

_"Let me at least look," Clark said._

_"No."_

_"Bruce," Clark groaned._

_"No. I can handle this…go away."_

_"No you can't," Diana snarled. "Let Clark look him over. Then you will be able to!"_

_"He's been shot alright?" Batman roared. "I can handle that. I just…need him…to wake up."_

_Arms wrapped around him tighter, his head falling onto his father's shoulder._

_His eyes fluttered open. "Dad?"_

_"Dick…thank god."_

Yes. He was sure he'd scared Bruce far worse.

"Thank you for coming," Cira said in Italian.

"I wish I'd been able to avert this," he replied in the same language. He lifted her hands in his and pressed his lips to her knuckles. "I am so sorry Cira."

"You could not have done anything," Cira said with a sweet smile. "I am just glad her last call was to a good friend and that her murderer was caught; even if it _was_ by unconventional means."

She'd never really been sure of Batman before. He could see her opinions changing as they spoke.

"Please be safe Cira," he whispered, pled.

"I shall be," she said. She leaned up to his ear. He bent down for her to reach more readily. "You are the one I fear for though…All these injuries you bring about you…Maybe, my Muriel's angel will protect you better than you current one is?"

"Cira…"

He didn't really believe in angels. Cira thought everyone had a guardian angel. She even thought that if one was as injury prone as he and Bruce were that their angel was lacking in their work.

If her thoughts were true then…how could she not be saying something like 'Muriel's angel has failed to the worst degree'? Why was she saying her daughter was going to protect him when he couldn't even protect her?

She placed her hand on his lips much like she had so many days before.

"I notice you don't believe but…I already know Muriel is protecting someone." She smiled wistfully. "I'm sure that it is not me though; my angel has done their job so I don't need Muriel to look out for me…You, Bruce, and your brother however…." She sighed. "I'm sure she is going to protect you all."

_Be nice_, he thought. _She's just lost her daughter._

"Thank you Cira."

* * *

Cira moved to Italy a few days later.

Nightwing was on a new mission a night after her departure.

Connor Kent had never actually visited Wayne Manor. He'd called though. They'd talked like friends talk; checked in on each other, shared a few laughs, a few stories, and shared their most recent pains. Connor apologized for his loss of a friend while Dick apologized for his having to deal with an ass.

Superboy snuck to Nightwing's side, eyes a glow with anticipation. Kobra was back. Neither one could wait for a chance to fight the guy – this time working together so he wouldn't be tossing Nightwing around like a rag doll again.

"Ready?" Nightwing asked.

"Born this way."

Nightwing smiled.

"I'm feeling the aster coming off you in waves buddy." He clapped his friend's shoulder in a brotherly way. "Let's get this party started."

Connor grinned.

They leapt towards their target, the Team already in position and waiting their orders. He was thirteen again, disappearing into the shadows because he knew instinctively to do it. Connor was sixteen weeks old again with a little more patience and experience under his belt.

He wanted to howl at the full moon above them.

This was going to be _fun._


End file.
